Thursday, October 29, 2009


He needs prayers agian. The poor baby has been in teh hospital since Tuesday night and is not doing well. His story is here

AND its his very first BIRTHDAY!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Some Exciting news!!

I have not blogged about this yet since I have called and talked to directly most of my readership...

W and I are getting MARRIED!!!

I am beyond excited! I love the man with my whole heart.. and he has proven time and time again, especially in this past year, how much I can rely on him and his love! He is the best father I have ever seen (biased, I know!)...and I will be proud and honored to be his wife!

We are not having any kind of spectacular 'wedding'...but it is a wedding none the less. We will be going to the JP on Friday December 11 and having a 'Celebration' in our home on Saturday December 12. Yep, only 7 weeks away!

I am so glad to finally be married!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Could it be!?!?

Well I didn't do intervals today (or yesterdy for that matter)..But, I did pick up the pace on a steady 3 mile run! I am now up to 9:40 minute mile! Woo-hoo!! Still a far cry from what I used to be able to do..buta lso a far cry from where I started six months ago upon release from the Dr.

Could I finally be getting my strength and endurance back!?!? I was able to run five whole miles tonight..with one short break in the middle. And I didn't feel like I was dying or that my lungs were bleeding! Finally, I feel like i am making progress!!

Pregnancy, seven weeks of bedrest and a c-section really took a toll on my body. I am fortunate that my weight is not really showing it (just a few extra pounds), but getting back into running after being a regular 5-mile a day girl has been really really really hard. I get so frustrated that I can't do what I think I shoul dbe able to and I end up quitting. This last break was for three weeks, but since I feel so good after this week, I might be able to keep it up!

So the plan is to continue intervals next week in hopes to increase speed and then I am going to follow a marathon training program for some structure and guidance for increasing endurance. It will be my second attempt at this, but it's looking more promising and appealing to me now!

Here's hoping!

Btw- Sorry this isn't about Charles! Yes, he is seven months old; yes, I need to blog about that; no, it's not tonight!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Not Me Monday!!

It's almost the end of the day, but I thought I might jump into the circus this week here goes:
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

-I did not work ~60 hours last week and miss my son terribly. Nope not me. I love my evenings with him and nothing is more important than spending that quality time him...err except maybe staying employed so we can still pay the mortgage.

-I did not tell my bosses 'too bad, so sad' one night last week so that I could have ONE night home with the babe. Nope, I didn't leave at 5 so I could have a couple hours when there was TONS of work to do and only to have to work til midnight the next night!

-I did not come home to find a clean house, dishes done, and laundry washed, dryed and put away. Nope..I am a super mom and can do it all and work a 60 hour week. W is the best.

-Speaking of W, I did not just tell him he was off his rocker when he told me that Chalres needs to drink water to get iron! What?!?! And he further explained that the reasons kids are weak is because they are not drinking tap water! again...What?!?! He is silly...

-I did not complain of being exhausted all weekend only to not go to bed early. Nope I need my sleep and I get as much as I can..unless it interferes with work or going to the apple orchard of course.

-I did not let my nearly 7 month old son entertain himself for about 15 minutes last night because he does not LOVE the new jumper that we are borrowing. Seriously he would have jumped al night. And he thought it was the funniest thing again today! I have never seen him laugh so much (seriously) and he is an overly happy baby!

-And last but not least..I am NOT dragging W to the pumpkin patch next weekend in hopes of starting some new family traditions. I think he only agreed to it because I asked while I was super busy at work and he knows how much that stresses me, oh and his fav cousin will be going to.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Yesterday W and I got to participate in a nursing seminar focusing on NICU nurses and 'Family Centered Care'. It was a great experience..long, but great! We participated as part of a parent panel, sharing our story. It was emotional to say the least. We are blessed with a happy healthy baby, but other moms and dads that were on the panel were not all so fortunate.

I have been aware over the last few months that my emotions are still very very raw from our whole experienc. Its weird..because we had such a good outcome, I should be nothing but happy. But everytime I think back on it, I think of what I did 'wrong' and how selfish I was. I thought of my feelings first when I wanted to go home while in HRM and then again when I wanted him to come home with me. And also how I didn't put him and his needs first when visitors came. And how I would have to walk away from him everyday to leave him in the care of other people.

Its almost as if the emotions I should have had then are coming out now. W probably thought I was nuts as I was crying right along with the mom who didn't get to hold her baby for two and half MONTHS!! I had to wait over 12 HOURS and that was too long, although a minute compared to how long she had to wait.

Unless you have been there, you never know how traumatic it is going to be. One of the mom's stated that it was as if she watched everything unfold from the outside looking in. I felt that way alot too. It was so surreal from teh first day of being admitted to day I brought him home. Every step of the way I asked myself "Is this really happening?" For a long time I had feelings that I wouldn't ever have or be able to have children...when I got pregnant so easily, those thoughts immediately left me. I also never ever thought I would have complications. I had no reason to believe that I would. Both sisters, mom and aunts had fairly healthy pregnancies, with minor if any complications. The 'Super-Mom' mentality kicked in long before Charles actually arrived!

So after all that...I am preparing myself for the next pregnancy, a year away yet, but I am a planner. I been told in o uncertain terms that pre-term labor will occur again. And earlier. I have to do everything I can to prevent this. With early labor comes early babies. If the labor is earlier, we are bound to have a baby earlier. There will definitely be different visiting policies established by me (and W, we will have to talk very in depth about what we want to happen next time).

I learned alot from the conference yesterday...about what I can do as a mom and what things I can make sure I am a part of. Things WILL be different next time.