Here I Come...Ready or Not!

Official Friday weigh-in

2012-01-27T10:25:00.002-06:00

So after a bit of yo-yo-ing this week, my official weeight loss is a mere 1lb. But do not fear, this is perfectly on track with my goal of one pound per week.

After my last post, I thought for sure I would be looking at 1.5 lbs this week. Tator-tot casserole, no matter how small the serving, will change that for ya! Mmmm I do love some tator tot casserole though..especially taco flavored! Yum!
It would be nice to have 'Biggest Loser' like weght loss, but really I am happy with one pound.

I am getting better with consistent work outs too..Monday Tuesday and THursday of this week so far. I am hoping to get one more in tonight and then heading to the grocery store.

This weekend will be abig test to watching what I eat and still thoroughly enjoying life...lunch with former co-worker friend tomorrow and a birthday party tomorrow night. Have I told you how much I love Mexican food (lunch)? and CAKE!? um, yum! My only saving grace with cake is I don't eat icing. So am I going to eat tomorrow..yes. Am I going to go over my calories. YEP! Oh well. It's only one day...and in the past when I would have gorged myself on chips, I will just exert some self control and thus limit the damage.

I wasn't gonna do it...

2012-01-24T10:50:00.002-06:00

I didn't want to be *that* girl...tracking and obsessing...but *sigh*, I am. I am tracking and entering my weight every day. To be fair though, it's only becausse the number keeps going DOWN!! Since Friday, 1.8 lbs. All from watching my calories and a little bit of exercise.

My plan was to input my weight on Mondays and Fridays so as to see REAL results, not just fluctuations due to water or daily food intake. Because we all know that what we eat and drink makes your weight fluctuate a little on a day to day basis. (we all do know that right?)

But alas, here I am entering weight again today. (to loseit.com, not the good ole blog!)

I wonder what my weight will be on Friday? A full week of watching how much I eat...

By the way, yes, I am hungry. Starving actually.

One day at a time

2012-01-23T08:20:00.002-06:00

I have a hard time remembering this sometimes... whether it be training for a marathon, regaining my speed and stamina after having a baby, going through pregnancy (and getting pregnant for that matter or watchign the kids grow up. But this time it is about weightloss.

I never really had to diet..in fact I don't really believe in 'diets'. A 'diet' should be a way of life, not a short amount of time that you restrict your eating to certain foods or certain amounts. I believe in moderation and enjoying life. With that said, you could say I am embracing a new 'way of life'. I gained some lbs with those babies and it is just not coming off. And Irealized that something had to change and just can't eat the way I used to!

In total I want to lose 13lbs. My main focus right now is food and my intake. I am using www.loseit.com to track my calories. And that is all that I am tracking. So you could say that I am still eating whatever I want (we had Applebees for dinner on Friday!) but just limiting it and keeping within my calorie budget. The website allows you to enter your starting weight and goal weight and it will then tell you how many calories depending on how fast you want to lose and the day you should achieve your goal. My goal date is April 13. After three days..usually my breaking point because I get hungry!.. I am still on track!! Infact I am already seeing the results I need to see!

As I get more motivated and figure out how to get past hurdles (time, baby, motivation) I am adding in working out: running, Jillian Michaels, Chalean Extreme, Turbo Fire. Every week I say I am "Going to do this" and everyweek I FAIL! But I am getting there. Last week I worked out 3 times. A record for me since having Blake! Sad, I know, considering I used to run 4-5 days a week with no problem. Loseit.com also allows for extra calories for working out..however I won't being eating those. Mostly because I usually work out at night and I would rather not eat the extra calories if I end up not working out that day (because you know I enter everything I am going to eat that day first thing in the morning!)

BUT I have to remember that it is one day at a time. Is it April 13 yet??

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

2012-01-06T21:22:00.008-06:00

...and Six months old! All rolled into one!

This year...Charles finally started to 'get' Santa! It definitely made Christmas alot more fun! He watch a lot of Caillou (yes, sadly, we watch a lot of TV at our house, but to be fair its PBS Sprout!) Christmas special and learned all about Santa. We even took him to see Santa, although once we got up there he wanted nothing to do with it!

Christmas morning he got up like any other day, got me up and then went to play. I let W sleep in and Blake wasn't up yet. So I made coffee, cleaned the kitchen and waited. Charles didn't even try to go into the room with the presents...but when I led him in, he went straight to the tree! He got an easel and it wasn't wrapped so he went right over there to check it out. Blake finally started to stir so I got him up, fed him and got W up and the fun began!

One of Charlie's big presents was a MobiGo. He LOVEs it! It took a little while to get used (and somewhat frustrating for W and I as he 'need help mommy') but he has it down now. It comes witha few games on it, you can insert cartridges (like a DS) or download games. W downloaded a game today. It is one where Charles has to fill in the missing letter..then the next level was to spell out the words. He could do every.single.one by the time I got home from work. As I was watching, I asked W, how does he even know this? His response was "wait, that isn't even the most impressive part" {referring to the next level}. Amazing! I knew he would have it down within a month, but less than 2 weeks!!??

Blake got his toys too and loves them just as much! In fact there is one he loves so much that he wouldn't go to bed the other night! He just wanted to stay up and play! ;) He hung out on a blanket while Charles opened his gifts and just hung out as a happy, content, little baby!

We rang in the New Year by going out to dinner with our good neighbor friends and then came back to the house to hang out. It was interupted for a little while with Blake waking up with a cold..got him back to sleep for a few hours but then I was up most of the rest of the night with him. He is better now though...phew!

SIX MONTHS!! Can you believe it!?!? I feel like I just found out I was pregnant!! So he had his well visit yesterday...18lbs 27 in. He is the same length but a pound lighter than Charles at the same age.

This is what he is up to now:

-Trying to crawl (the Dr told us we are in troooouble!)...he gets up on all fours and has progressed from just rocking to moving either a hand or a leg and lunging forward. He now roams by either this method or rolling all over the family room!

-Eating solids..twice a day 2 TBS of cereal and 1.5-2 TBs of a fruit or a vegetable. he does pretty well. He likes cereal alot better than Charles did (He hated it!) but doesn't love the fruits/veggies as much. Its a sour face for the first few bites with just about every food.

-Sleeps from 8pm to 5/6am, up for a bottle and then back to bed till 8/9am. Naps are sporadic. Every now and then we get a good nap, but mostly he catnaps. We have gone the route of putting him in his crib for eacha nd every nap hoping that it clicks with him one of these days...

I have finally started working out again. W helped (and by helped I mean he did it) me get everything I needed set up in the basement. There is a TV and DVD player for videos and my treadmill has been moved down there as well. I am hoping to keep with it and give my sister a challenge to keep up ;). For the last two nights I have done Week 1 of Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30...so very hard. Thought I was going to die..and sadly its only 20 minutes..hmm.

and lastly ...some pics of the kids...Blake's six month photo shoot!

The post I didn't want to write

2011-12-23T11:33:00.004-06:00

No, I am NOT pregnant! I just haven't really wanted to put this 'on paper' because then it would make it real. And there are people that read this that would be majorly concerned...please don't be. And please know that I don't want to (and won't) talk about it in 'Real Life'.

I am almost certain that I have PPD...maybe even a touch of PTSD (from Charles).

I love my children and my husband very very much, but there are a lot of days that I feel so very disconnected. And there are contributing factors:
-W takes care of the babies day in and day out. He does a great job. So great in fact, that I ask him what they need. It completely takes over the 'mommy instinct' a lot of times. There are times that I am more connected, but majority of the time its him.

-Breastfeeding Blake was so very stressful. Lack of sleep, constant need to feed, pumping enough, etc. (Yet, I miss it)
-And he is NOT my zen baby like Charles! He just wants to go go go and see everything! He is so strong, and when he is fighting sleep (always!) he kicks, I have tried using the Moby wrap more and that sometimes helps.

-Difficult pregnancy (x2). We are so very blessed to have 2 VERY healthy boys. But the road to get there wasn't easy..(and I think I want to do it again!) I still, to this very day, can not read my blog from my pregnancy and birth/NICU stay with Charlie or look at pictures without tearing up.

-I don't feel as bonded to Blake..and as a result I try to spend more time with him at home. Which means less time with Charles. I haven't found the balance. And I hope that I don't permanently damage our relationship. I am definitely working on that with him though and making sure I focus on him and just him each day. I feel sooo guilty for all of it.

I know a lot of these thoughts are irrational..but that is what depression does to you. I try to remind myself that everything will work out..and that this is just a phase.

W and I talked about it a few weeks ago. He is 'old school' and thinks depression is just a mindset, but he was/is supportive. I do feel like things are getting better. But there are days that are worse than others. I feel it the most when I can't soothe/comfort/put to sleep Blake. And when he starts kicking etc, it just exacerbates it. I have tried to just put him down when I feel it coming on, but then he screams more and that mommy instinct says I need to pick him up..never ending cycle.

So anyway, I am fine. It will be ok. W is truly a huge support and takes the kids whenever I need him to. After talking I think he is also more in tune as to how I am reacting to the kids and will attempt to diffuse the situation. He is great like that..but it starts my 'mommy guilt' all over again because I feel like I can't handle the situation on my own. They are my children after all...

This to shall pass...but I needed to get it out so that I can move on from it.

Yeesh...

2011-12-21T14:57:00.002-06:00

It's been awhile!! That means things are going good right?!?! And BUSY! or at least it seems that way, but don't ask what we have been up to because I have NO IDEA!!

I had to take Blake into the doctor this week. He seems to have a bit of a stomach bug that resulted in requiring us to get a stool sample. Uh huh. Yep. Have you ever tried to get a stool sample from a baby!?!? Ha! It involved a few band-aids and a ziploc baggie! Thankfully we got it on the first try. We should find out in a day or so if there is anything to worry about or if it is just a viral bug (that is what we are hoping for anyway). He was weighed and measured as is standard protocol and he is up to 17lbs 12oz and 27in. I'd say he is growing just fine! Nearly 3 pounds in six weeks! Yikes!

He is starting to get more mobile...almost army crawling when he is on the floor! It is soo cute to watch. And he LOVES his exersaucers! He still fights sleep just about every nap, but bedtime he is good. Most nights he gets up once but goes right back to bed. I am hoping that this goes away soon...it seems to keep getting later and later...today it was 6am.

All in all he is doing great and the cutest damn squealer ever!

Charles is hilarious these days! Of course I can never remember what he says but we laugh all the time. W and I got a good laugh a couple weeks back when Charles asked for Broccoli for dinner...no he didn't know what he was asking for, but he insisted that is what he wanted! He cried through the whole thing but wouldn't let me throw it out. Hilarious! This past weekend we took him to see Santa. I got him excited to see Santa but when I asked if he was going to sit on his lap I got a somber "uh-uh". And he sure didn't want to sit on Santa's lap! The pic we got is one of those classic ones with him trying to get away. Blake was good though and just sat there.

Charles continues to amaze us with how smart he is...so many words and his comprehension. Its crazy! But still no potty! I am hoping in the next couple months. At least before he is 3!!!!

Oh and he does not like to be touched by his little brother! Or any other small person for that matter! He actually moved out of pictures and scooched away anytime we moved Blake close to him. But he will , on his own terms of course, give his brother hugs kisses and high fives!

This is not turning into a very good update..I am being very vague! but not on purpose...I just can't remember everything..or think of all I wanted to update with! I am going to have to carve out time every couple nights because I really want to keep things documented. Mostly we are just doing normal day to day things and don't get out much though...

Inconsistent

2011-11-11T20:56:00.004-06:00

So it seems that I have already fallen off of the "updating regularly" wagon. I seriously have no idea where my days go or how its been two weeks since I left my old job and have worked a full week at my new job. I can't say that it's heaven yet, but it is closer to home!

The boys are still doing fabulous! Blake had his 4 month well baby visit last week. he weighed in at 15lbs and was 24 3/4 inches! I am so proud to say that was ALL mama's milk!! Yes he is getting some formula now, but he didn't have any until I decided to start weaning...which is still in process. I can't seem to get the boobs to stop making milk! I am down to two pumps a day now and Blake has been getting 3 oz of breastmilk and then 2-4oz of formula depending on how hungry he is at each feeding. Although tonight I think we discovered that he doesn't like it mixed so we will be going to 3 or 4 full bottles of breast milk and then 3 or 4 full bottles of formula (he takes 6 or seven bottles a day). We'll do this until we run out of the liquid gold as I still have about 180 ounces in the freezer yet to use up along with the ounces I can still pump.

Oh and guess what happened when we started giving him bottles at night? Sleeping through the night!!! Yay! I am not 100% sure if he started sleeping through the night because he was getting more food at bed time (I seriously think I had an evening supply issue, if that makes any sense) or if its because he is eating formula and it keeps him fuller longer.. no matter, he sleeps about 10-12 hours just about every night!

I think we are FINALLY making some progress on the potty training with the big boy...Last night after I used the potty, he decided he wanted to sit on it! He wouldn't let me take off his diaper, but he did get up and sit on the potty all by himself...many many times! I cheered him on and then had him flush (which, you know, is fun for a two year old!) Tonight W was able to get him up there after his bath before getting him dressed. No pees yet in the potty, but progress none the less. Maybe by New Years?

Charlie really enjoyed Trick-or-Treating this year too! W walked the neighborhood w/ the neighbor and his kids while I stayed back with Blake and neighbor's wife. W said Charles actually knocked on doors, said trick or treat and even stood there waiting for more! Wish I could have seen it, but oh well, someone has to hand out the candy!

Lately he has become my monkey see monkey do boy...He mimics just about everything! Including the challenge on Survivor. Yep. He sure did immitate the contestants that were gathering amouthful of coconut juice and spitting it in a cup..except Charles didn't have coconut juice, nor was he spitting in a cup. Nice.

These boys make me laugh and smile every.single.day!!

Roy G Biv

2011-10-27T20:59:00.001-05:00

10 Things Thursday...

1. Not only does Charles know his alphabet and numbers, he also kows the colors of the (official) rainbow. And will recite them for you if asked. He also likes to carry around the correct color crayons that make up the rainbow...that he managed to find in the box. W showed him the names once and now he knows which is which. Amazing!

2. He colored a rainbow in the carpet today. oh so naughty. But then tried to wipe it up.

3. I have a new JOB!! yay!! It's a promotion in a new company, 15 minutes from home!!! I am so stoked about it..and even happier to be leaving where I am currently at. That is all I am going to say about it...

4. Can I tell you how amazing my husband is?? He takes care of both kids all day long yet still manags to get laundry done, floors cleaned, and dinner cooked most nights. There are some nights that I get the kids when I walk in the door but mostly he continues to help until we all go to bed. He has the patience of a saint. Love him!

5. Coming with ten things every week isn't as easy as I thought it would be!

6. W and I have been trying to foster a brotherly relationship between the two boys. Charlie spent 2 years with our undivided attention and is very independent. He has adapted very well to having a brother. We encourage him to give his brother kisses and 'talk' him...It's so cute to see him walk up to Blake, rub his head and say "hi brudder" I hope they are best friends in a few years!

7. Charlie taught himself how to do a somersault today! I have tried to teach him to no avail, but today he accidently flipped himself over and now does it all the time. It still needs some work, but he has teh concept down now.

8. I had to apply for an individual health insurance plan this week...so easy and very quick. The new company doesn't allow enrollment into their health plan until after 90 days...not a good thing with small children. Fortunately this will work out...

9. Charlie had his first sucker ever this week!

10. Cutest.Kids.Ever!!!!

Photo Update!!

2011-10-20T20:38:00.004-05:00

Blake's Baptism picture..I love this one! (somethign about the lighting...)

Daddy makes me laugh!

Cutest.baby.ever!

Like a cat, sleeping in the sun....

His favorite activities, letters & numbers

My Sweet Big Boy!

Big Smiles!

Look Ma, I have a toy!

Hmmm... Another mail carrier in our future???

10 Things Thursday

2011-10-20T11:46:00.005-05:00

So I am WAAAAAYYY over due for an update!!! An in an effort to continuously or get on a more regular updating regimen I am starting "10 Things Thursday". Starting TODAY!

1. I am still breastfeeding Blake. After my last post, things really started to fall into place and it got easier. My goal was 6 months of breast feeding but I will be weaning a little bit earlier than that...as in next month. I still don't love it. While I am able to pump enough for him (and occasionally put some in the freezer) during the day, by night time I just feel like he is struggling to get everything he needs/wants for bed time. We nurse at 6/6:30 when I get home and then from 7:45-8:30ish when he goes to bed. It leaves very little time for me to spend with the big boy and is very frustrating for me.

2. I am still NOT working out. It makes me sad some days, but I am still sooooo tired ALL.the.time. Blake is still not sleeping through the night (usually he only gets up once) and I NEED my sleep to function. This also means I haven't lost all of my pregnancy weight...and that makes me even sadder :(

3. My big boy is getting soo big...and Smart!! He knows his letters: upper case, lower case and the phonics of each letter. He has a Leap Frog letter thingy and he is now tracing the letters on the screen. He also knows his numbers and counts to twenty, although fifteen is pronounced five-teen! So cute!

4. We moved Blake into his own room this past weekend. He has been in his crib (in our room) for some time now, but this weekend we move it back to his room. I was hoping it would lead to better sleep for all of us and Blake would start sleeping through the night. No such luck yet. He still gets up at least once between 3 & 4. For me though, it is nice to be able to move freely about my room after he goes to bed.

5. When Blake was born, we began referring to Charlie as the 'big one' and Blake as the 'little one'. One morning Charlie got up before all of us (Blake included) and independently went to play in the family room. When Blake woke me and I realized Charlie was out there I tapped W and told him "the big one is in the family room"; he responded with "The big one is dead" Huh?? Clearly he was not awake yet!! I said, No the big one is alive and well and his response was "and kicking" Still not awake!! The other day when I woke him as I was leaving for work, he told me to have fun shooting a gun. Huh?? My job brings me no where close to using/seeing/touching no less shooting a gun!! And he makes fun of me for saying funny things in my sleep!

6. Charlie LOVES him some chocolate milk. He gets it at night time when we put him to bed. And if you ask him if he wants chocolate milk he usually responds with "choc-at milk nu-nite?" This is horrible. We are breaking the 'good parent' rules of sending a sippy cup to bed with him. Thing is I really think he can go to bed without it. He used to go to bed in his crib without a sippy, but it became a crutch to us to get him to sleep in his big boy bed. Over the last couple weeks, Charlie would occasionally get out of bed around 2ish. Most of the time W gets him and goes to bed with him (C has a queen size bed)..but lately I have intercepted him and put him back to bed with no sippy, by himself. He goes back to sleep just fine. So I really think he could go to bed initially without it. Now I just have to get W on board....

7. Who needs naps?? I DO! I DO! Charlie seems to think he doesn't. This make me very sad..for multiple reasons. The biggest being that I don't always get a nap on the weekends because he is still up. It has been a month now since he has taken regular naps. Needless to say he is VERY tired by the end of the day and bedtime is VERY easy!

8. I really really want to write about some recent pursuits...however I have a self imposed rule about talking about work on the ol' blog. It's not that I don't want to share because I do...and it would be really therapeutic to get my thoughts out, but I just can't do it yet...

9. Ever heard of the 'second child' shortfalls? Yea, poor Blake is already suffering from being the second child! He is over three months and I have yet to get his 3 month pics done (I like to do every three months the first year since they change sooooo much!)...We have taken candids, but not as many and I haven't printed ANY aside from one here and there off my at home printer. I have thought about his baby book, but haven't purchased anything, no less started it. Hopefully I will catch up soon....

10. Check out my Ah-Mazing sister!! The green monster has reared its ugly head a copuple times...but I am SOOOOO proud of her! I am secretly hoping htat continues running so that it can be something we do together :)

Still struggling

2011-09-06T10:31:00.002-05:00

I need to keep reminding myself that breast milk is free...because yes, I am still struggling with it! Sunday night Blake nursed a better part of nearly 4 hours! And then was up again 2 short hours later!

I returned to work a week and a half ago and have been pumping during the day...three times during my work day. Its tiring. Not to mention that I can only pump about 12-13oz of the 17-18 he eats while I am gone. Fortunately I have a bit of a stash in the freezer but ultimately that is going to run out (in many weeks!).

Sunday I was at my wits end and was determined that we are done and I am going to wean...Then Sunday night happened. Blake didn't eat well from the source. He got a bottle once over night. I woke up engorged and feeling guilty...feeling that I am depriving him of what he wants: the boob!

I don't know how to give him what he wants and also stay sane. He wants to 'eat' constantly for hours on end. And I know he is not really eating, I have become the human pacifier. I also don't know how to not feel guilty that I am not able to satisfy him and that I just want him off of me for an hour!

I tried something new last night. He nursed around 6pm. I cut him off after 1/2 hour. He wasn't too pleased. He fussed and fussed on and off until 8pm when it was time to start bedtime feeding. But I think with time, he will get used to this new limited eating and will get hungrier and hungrier and will ultimately take a fuller feeding, and last longer between feeds and thereby getting hungrier again...do you see how the cycle goes? Right now I have what they like to call a snacker!

I couldn't bring myself to really start the weaning process, so for now we are going to keep going and again remind myself to take it day by day and that as long as he eats it doesn't matter what he eats!

Breastfeeding.

2011-08-12T19:52:00.002-05:00

So I'm sitting here writing this post with a baby at the breast...ok not really. I am not that good at it yet and Blake is still pretty little {albeit growing by the minute!}. He is indeed laying on my chest, just not feeding.

Anyway, back to the point...

I am finding that I have a love hate relationship with breastfeeding.

I love that I can physically feed my baby with my body. It's very fascinating that my body produces this 'liquid gold' and it helps my baby grow grow grow. And he is growing well...at the rate of a pound a week!
I love the bond we are creating and the closeness that I (hopefully) will have with him when I return to work and he begins to spend most of his days with his daddy.
I love the convenience in the middle of the night to just latch him on to eat and I don't have to mess with a bottle and I can kind of doze off while he eats.
I love he is getting the most perfect nourishment without chemicals and it is so natural.
I love that its FREE!!!!

But I hate being strapped down by this little being that I love so much when he wants to eat constantly. I feed on demand..so when he wants it, he gets it! There have been some evenings that I have nursed him for over two hours off and on (mostly on sometimes off).
I hate not knowing how much he is getting...not that I should be too concerned at this point as he is clearly getting enough by gaining 3.5lbs in5 weeks!! But when he is rooting and acting hungry just minutes after a feeding, it makes me wonder if I am really producing enough. It's hard to shake the fears of the low supply I had with Charles. It would be great to have a see through boob with measurements on it.
I hate the every two hour, hour long feeds. Its taxing. I can't DO anything while he is feeding and he is a sloooooow eater. So by the time he is done, I have an hour to shower or do something quick and then its go time again. And to add pumping in on top of that???
Which brings me to..I HATE pumping. But if I want to continue when I go back to work, I have to do it. This solves the 'how much' dilemma, but then resurfaces the 'am I making enough'. I pump about 2-3 times a day depending on schedule and how much he eats. I can usually tell if he drains everything or if there is some left behind. I also pump at least once overnight so that my awake time is less and W can help me out.

I hit a breaking point when Blake was 4 weeks old. I hadn't slept for more than an hour stretch in nearly four weeks. I found that I was dreading feedings and I didn't want to hold Blake in between. And id I did, I didn't want to do anything to stir him because he might want to eat. I was so ready to quit. Cold turkey. But I felt guilty...selfish..like a quitter. So we made changes. I accepted giving him formula and pumping instead for a few feedings, especially overnight. I stopped pumping after every feeding. And more importantly I changed my attitude.

I had to accept that this is Blake and this is how he eats. If I can nurse him that is great. If I am not feeling it, I can give him a bottle. If he fights with me, a bottle it is. and I am not stressing over it. It doesn't matter what he eats as long as he eats, is healthy and is satisfied. And let me tell you, I am in a much better place. Since I have embraced it, I am actually more willing to nurse and it is rare that he gets a bottle during the day. And very little formula.

I am not sure what will happen when I go back to work, but for now I am setting small goals and will reassess when I meet each goal. The first is to make it till I go back...2 more weeks. Then I will see how pumping goes at work and how much I can get with the pump. If I am successful I hope to make it atleast 6 months...even if I am not able to make 100% of what he needs. Some is better than none.

For now we'll just keep on keeping on!

One whole month...

2011-08-02T21:21:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe that Blake has been here for a whole month already!!!! We love having him here..but I am not going to lie, it has been challenging! This is one of those times that I am glad W does not work and is home all day with us.

Blake is a super sweet baby and in general a very easy baby. But...not as easy as Charles was! Although I have been told that Charles was 'abnormally' easy and Blake is normal!

This time around I am breastfeeding..we tried with Charles, but because he was so early I had to pump and it didn't work out because I didn't produce like I needed to. This time I am able to produce so that part is going well and Blake latches on great too! We got past the part of soreness and pain...but he wants to eat every two hours! Let me explain what that entails: 30-40 min of nursing, 20 minutes of pumping, back to bed for 1 hour and up to do it again!! Yikes! This past Sunday I reached my breaking point, but I DID NOT quit! I sooo wanted to....instead we just made some modifications. I pump at night and W does the feeding from a bottle. Thankfully Blake goes back and forth with no problems!

Charles...well he has actually done really well with the transition. It could be alot worse! So far he just gets whiny and has a quick trigger to cry. He is also very good at ignoring who ever is talking to him! Overall he isn't acting out too much. W is here to wrangle him when I am stuck on the couch all day nursing the baby...

As far as loving his little brother...the first few days, he wouldn't come near me if I hwas holding Blake. But now he will give kisses and lay with him on the floor (supervised of course!). He still isn't really 'aware' of him yet so if Blake is on the floor or even in our arms we really have to watch to make sure he doesn't jump on/step on/squish/hit him. I am hoping that in the coming months as Blake gets more lively he will enjoy him more!

I am recovering excellent from the c-section. 10 days post op and I wasn't taking any more pain meds...woo-hoo!I am still exteremely tired. Not sure if it is still due to the blood loss or the 24 hour nursing or a combination. Either way, I am tired. We are trying to do things...like the above mentioned night time feeding change so that I can get more rest. I only have three more weeks till I go back to work! My time off is going sooo fast even though by the time I go back I will have been off for 12 weeks! I ahd a nice summer of no working!

Back to Blake...he has been growing sooo fast! I go to a Breastfeeding support group that is offered by the hospital every Tuesday. While there I can weigh him, feed him and then weigh again to see how much milk he is getting. Last week he weighed in at 6lbs 15ozs. Today he weighed 7lbs 15ozs. A whole pound in a week!!! No wonder he wants to eat so much!!! He is catching up fast and I have a feeling he will be bigger than his brother.

Here are some pics from the last few weeks:

Charles trying to climb under the bouncy chair (yes the baby was sitting in it), he also likes to sit in the chair and in the swing. He thinks these new 'toys' are great!

Hanging out in his bed!

Looking up to his brother already!

First bath...

Sweet baby!

36 weeks, 1 day and....

2011-07-07T06:11:00.003-05:00

He is HERE!!!

BLAKE WALTER arrived Friday July 1, 2011 at 8:35 am.

Here is the birth story:

After our little stay in L&D at 34 weeks, Dr M decided that she wanted to check me for progress at every appointment...twice a week! Fortunately there wasn't much change despite having frequent but irregular contractions. My cervix was changing about 1/2cm each exam. If I got to 4-5, she was going to deliver. In the meantime, the office went ahead and scheduled my c-section for July 21.

After my appointment on Wed 6/29, where she told me I was 3-4cm, I started getting crampy but was fine by 1 pm and the rest of the day was fine. On Thursday I woke up crampy, ate breakfast and went back to bed. When I woke again I had more than usual mucous discharge that was tinged pink. By bedtime I had consistent clear eggwhite type discharge. At 1 am the discharge started having pink in it and I had timeable contractions. At 4:30am I was finally able to get to sleep but was awoken at 5:30 with a big contraction and my discharge is now red...So then I knew it was time to call the Dr.

We headed to the hospital and arrived around 6:50..Dr M checked me again and I was 4-5cm dilated so they decided to go ahead with my RCS. Blake was born at 8:35 am. Dr then had trouble getting my uterus to contract down and had to do external massage...Weirdest feeling EVER! She also had to give me about 6 shots of multiple medications to help and I was on pitocin for 24hrs afterwards. I also lost alot of blood, but not enough to transfuse.

Blake went to the regular nursery and had to have a little bit of formula for low bloodsugar..they wouldn't let me breastfeed at this point as they were still monitoring my uterus. He later had some fast breathing due to leftover fluid from the c-section but was fine by evening. Saturday night he started showing signs of jaundice and went on the bili blanket..his levels dropped overnight so we thought we were in the clear, but they spiked again on Monday..just hours before we were to go home! He had to go in the isolette for the heavy duty lights. It worked and we were all able to go home on Monday!

We have been home now for a few days and things are going great!! I am still breastfeeding and really enjoying it! And he is doing ok with sleeping...lots during the day, not as much at night. He eats every 2-3 hours and is a slow eater...

Charlie is still a tad unsure about this little creature I brought home, but he is starting to come around. He mostly is indifferent to his little brother.

Here are some pics:

Fresh out...

In the isolette under the lights for jaundice:
Just chillin' with Mom
Going HOME!

35 Weeks

2011-06-23T14:33:00.003-05:00

What can I say, I am a little surprised (yet ecstatic!) that we are at this point!!!! There have been some bumps along the way, though minor in comparison to the road we traveled with Charles.

The biggest bump actually came last week. After going to my usual Wednesday appointment and receiving my next to last 17P injection, I went home to watch our neighbor's little boy and just in general lay around. Charles has been having a hard time going to bed by himself sine I have been home so he and I laid down to take a nap together. I woke a few hours later with the weird feeling of my dream being what was really happening..nothing serious just a weird sensation in my dream that I woke to realize was a contraction. W's friend had stopped by and we chatted for a bit. I sat on the couch the whole time as Charlie was still waking up (Neighbor boy was still sleeping). Once his friend left I told W I was having contractions. I timed them for a little bit and they were anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes apart. They weren't painful just uncomfortable. Although we knew what the Dr would say {Go to Hospital}, we called. Sure enough that's where they wanted us to go. So W quickly got the boys together and another car seat in the car and he drove me over. I didn't think they would admit me..fluids and slow down the contractions and let me go...NOPE. Dr checked me and I was 2cm and 60% effaced. She pulled out all the stops to stop the labor. I received the first of two steroid shots for his lungs and was put on the evil drug magnesium sulfate with a 6g bolus to start. I know this probably means nothing to you but let me tell you it was AWFUL! Contractions finally stopped around 10pm (I think) but then started again at 1 am pretty consistent a little more intense but still not painful. I didn't sleep a wink all night. By morning my back was aching and I felt a little cramping but nothing bad. Dr checked me again and I was 2-3cm and 80% effaced. So now we are all thinking this baby is coming this weekend. They just want to hold off to get the second steroid shot and another 24hrs for it to have any effectiveness. Fortunately contractions stopped again about 4pm and stayed at bay through the next day too. Friday morning Dr moved me over to the high risk unit and lowered my dose of mag. My nurse and I both said see you later in the afternoon because we were sure that I would start contracting again!

Well, I did but not consistently until 1am. What is with 1am??? I laid there just waiting for them to come in and move me...but they didn't. Dr ordered an increase in my mag dose again. Prior to this we were talking about being released on Sunday, but I know that I have to be off the mag for 24 hours before release so I was sure I was staying another day to again wean off of it. But nope...Dr came in and checked me again. I'm still the same, 2-3 cm and 80% so the contractions aren't doing anything which is very GOOD! And she turned off the mag...woo-hoo!! Saturday was fairly uneventful. I contracted on and off but nothing to be concerned about apparently. Sunday morning Dr came in and said let's go home! So I am home still pregnant and on 'bed-rest'.

While neither W or I wanted Blake to be born this early, we prepared ourselves because we thought it was imminent. I communicated this to my Drs as well. And honestly when you are prepared to meet your son, it is really hard to hide disappointment when they tell you "Not today" even though you know it is for the best. I have a feeling my Drs thought I was questioning them...a comment made by Dr H and then a comment by Dr M. But hopefully I cleared that up with Dr M by reiterating that we are happy he is still inside and cooking despite being prepared.

So now we are just playing the wait and see game...waiting for my water to break, contractions to get more painful, more dilation/effacement...anything that shows I am laboring (even silent labor) they will deliver him. (Yesterday I was still 2-3cm and back to 50% effaced and will be checked at every appt) If nothing happens..we are officially scheduled for July 21!!! Knowing that my body doesn't ever do what they think it will, I am 75% sure we will make it to then. So exciting!!

For now we are just going to keep cooking, relaxing and taking it one day at a time. I am still contracting here and there but not regularly or consistently. I get the most a couple hours before my procardia is due (every 6) and in the evenings. Dr wasn't concerned..or if she was, there is not much else they can do...aside from that they don't stop labor after 35 weeks.

Harsh Reality

2011-05-26T13:17:00.002-05:00

I always thought I would be one of those Moms that would be able to work until I went into labor. My pregnancy with Charles was picture picture up until the day we went in to labor at 27 weeks. There weren't any signs of the troubles that we then faced. Being my first pregnancy, there was no reason to suspect or check for signs of labor or early delivery. It definitely was not how I wanted things to go. But in the end of course we are fortunate...we have a healthy little boy who is simply amazing.

Prior to even thinking about having another baby, we knew it was not going to be easy street. Dr. M warned us that when Moms have pre-term labor, it is nearly a given that it will happen again...and earlier in the pregnancy. But she had a plan in place for us to help ensure that we would be able to have a somewhat healthy pregnancy and get as close to term as possible.

Let me tell you...it has not been easy! Physically, up until now, it has been ok. Mentally that is a whole other story. In the beginning we were faced with short cervix (that later corrected itself) and I feel like I have been on edge ever since. On the outside and when speaking to most people, I am excited. And I have received a lot of comments to the effect of "this time it seems to be going much better" Sure, it is, in some regard. But we are also doing A LOT of things to help it go better. And those things are taking their toll on me. Others can't see the internal angst I have regarding the safe delivery of baby Blake. And it is hard, if not nearly impossible, to explain how I feel and have felt. I don't really want to be told to think positive, or if so and so did you can do it, etc., etc. You just don't know until you have been there.

My sister yesterday told me she was going on vacation. I asked her where and she then asked if she hadn't already told me (honestly I don't think she did :) but I can't remember) I told her even if she had, I am little self-absorbed right now! Fortunately, she understood. I think she is one of the only ones who hasn't tried to change how I feel about things...just listens. I love her for that. I'm sorry that my stress has affected the relationships (outside of me & W) have suffered... :(

So here we are at 31 weeks and getting closer and closer to delivery. My last day of work is next Friday, June 3. I was/am excited about it. Initially the excitement was just the thought of having time off work and being able to spend some time with Charles. But then I started feeling guilty because I was actually feeling pretty good. I began to question the justification for leaving work early...and then today came. I have {undiagnosed of course} what is probably SPD, a mild case but painful none the less. It hurts to walk, move my legs, turn over in bed, get up from sitting, etc. It has been brewing for awhile but has been manageable. The last two days it has been a constant burn and getting progressively worse. And if I stand for any length of time, my legs swell. And regardless of standing, by the end of the day I am almost always swollen. Today, I had full on 'cankles' by noon. My feet feel as if they are stuffed in my shoes. I just want to cry.

I have been on Pro-Cardia since 23 weeks...I hate the medication. It makes me dizzy, my heart race, and gives me an anxious feeling. It also contributes to my swelling and probably to my irritability too. I lashed out at W the other night...I felt awful. I was nit-picking. But I think sometimes he doesn't fully understand what I am going through. It is his baby too, but it is not his body that wants to give out.

Now I feel justified in leaving early...I need to be relaxing more with my feet up more...and no more dress shoes.

I feel like I can't plan anything..."What if something happens?" is always at the back of my mind...mostly at the front, actually. I registered Charles for a two program of swim lessons. I know he will love it. And then hours after I registered and paid. I questioned my self. The lessons will be during my 34th and 35th week. The risk of delivery goes up every week (normal pregnancy or not) and this becomes a high risk period for me. eesh. But I want to think positive that I will be able to take him.

I feel like a big baby. I should be able to do this. I wanted to do this. I have dear friends who can't or struggle to do this and they would give their left arm to be in my position...and I kind of want to do it again. I should suck it up and deal with it..right? I'm trying. W really has been soooooooo supportive. He takes care of just about everything around the house. And gets me just about everything I need..and he doesn't complain. I Love him.

Sorry this post isn't very positive. It's been a hard week for me.

10 weeks to go!!!

2011-05-11T20:58:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe that Blake will be here in 10 weeks or less!! (hopefully no less!) And things are still going very smooth. Only 6 more 17-P injections, 7 more weeks of procardia (ugh!) and in three weeks I start twice weekly NSTs and bi-weekly growth ultrasounds. Speaking of ultrasounds...last weeks ultrsound was a growth ultrasound...Blake was estimated to weigh 2 lbs 10 oz. It puts him in the 55%ile, so he is pretty average right now. He showed us his toes and 'the goods' again, but he would not cooperate for a face shot though. Such a stinker already.

Last week, an overwhelming sense of calm came over me. I can't really explain it...maybe I was holding my breath waiting to get past 'D-Day'? I don't know..but what I do know is that everything is going to be ok! I am not looking at every twinge or weird feeling and wondering "is something happening?", I know I will be going to work tomorrow (boo!), and I know Blake is going to stay in until he is ready...or until 39 weeks when he gets his eviction notice! All is good!

Here I am at 29 weeks:

The weather finally turned nice around here, and let me tell you Charles is LOVING it!! Here he is outside today with the sand/water table he got for his birthday...

Last night I opened the front door to get some air circulating andhe of course tried to go out. We stopped him and then he said to us "Outside now". He is getting so big and putting more and more words together...yet he still likes to tell me long long stories that I can not decipher!

Tonight is the third night in a row that he has gone to bed by himself in his big boy bed. No more Mommy or Daddy laying with him till he falls asleep. We kind of did it cold turkey too...and we have only had a few tears. Last night was the worst..tonight just a little whine. So proud of him! (I just hope he doesn't end up in my bed at 2 am again...eeesh!)

12, 5 and 'D-Day'

2011-05-01T13:15:00.003-05:00

So which one would you like to start with?!?!?! Oh, my choice? Ok here goes...

'D-Day'- Yesterday was 'D-day'. It actually arrived without much thought or anxiety for me...well except for non pregnancy issues occurring at this time that I can not discuss on the interwebz. Oh, you want me to back up a bit? Wondering what 'D-Day' is? I went into labor with Charles at 27 weeks and 2 days. From the moment we knew we were pregnant, this has been the day that has brought the most anxiety for me...what will happen at 27 weeks? Will we even make it to 27 weeks? What kind of complications will I face this time? So we made it...I am now 27 weeks and 3 days! While we are not out of the woods in terms of delivering a baby that will not spend any time in the NICU, that I have not had any complications so far is reassuring to me. I have cervical checks scheduled on Wednesday at 28 weeks and again at 30 weeks. Hopefully both are great!

12- Blake will be here in LESS than 12 weeks!!!!!! At my last appointment, Dr M said that she will be scheduling my repeat c-section for 39 weeks!! That is July 21. Time is going to fly!! Of course there is always a chance he will come sooner, but we are guaranteed a baby no later than July 21!!!!

5- This one has to do with work... My place of employment is approximately 55 miles from home and at least an hour drive. Weeks ago, Dr M and I had talked about cutting my time down to part time starting at 32 weeks..but this last week she changed her mind and is now thinking of pulling me completely at 30 weeks. We will try to go to 32 though, barring any cervical changes prior to that point. I am relieved to say the least. My job can be very stressful and there are other factors that are keeping my stress level up. I have noticed an increase in my overall blood pressure this last week as well. Also...as we get closer to term the more likely something can happen, such as my water breaking, and I DO NOT want to be stuck so far from home if that happens.

So far I am feeling pretty good...getting bigger by the day! Thankfully my weight gain has slowed and I only gained 1 pound in the last 3 weeks. I do have pelvic pain that is pretty common in pregnancy. There is a technical name for it that I don't know, but essentially it feels as if the front of my pelvic bone is being pulled apart. It makes getting out of bed, crossing my legs and general movements alot of fun.

In addition to my cervical check, this week I also have the glucose test for gestational diabetes, and another ultrasound. I can't remember why we are doing the ultrasound but I don't mind getting a little peek at the boy! At 32 weeks, I will have every other week growth ultrasounds.

So that is the latest we are still hanging in and hope it continues to be smooth.

...23, 24, 25 Weeks!!

2011-04-15T08:47:00.007-05:00

**Disclaimer: I did add paragraph spacing, however blogger keeps deleting the spaces. Will try to fix from home later tonight** So sorry I missed couple weeks...It was busy time at work and frankly after working three 14 hour days in a row I had no energy to post an update. but wait that only really accounts for one week, right? Ok I am just a slacker! And why the hell am I working 14 hour days while pregnant?? Insane... So, anyway, here we are at 25 weeks {as of yesterday}...per my doctor I am measuring perfectly! My weight...well let's just not talk about that right now and hope that the gaining slows down a tad in the next few weeks. Right now I am on tack to gain 50lbs!!!! Yikes!!! I think I only gained 35-40 with Charles with bedrest and eating to my hearts content... A co-worker says its all in my stomach though..gotta love her despite her 'lies'! I have now received 10 shots of 17-P, was placed on Pro-cardia a few weeks ago, and am still visiting the OB weekly. Next week I get another cervical check and May 4th is my next ultrasound and the dreaded glucose test. Starting June 1 I will be going to the OB twice a week...that should be fun. Dr M is already thinking about placing me on a part-time work schedule at that time as well. As far the baby goes...Blake is doing great. Everyday I feel more and stronger kicks. Last night I was able to watch my entire stomach flop around with his movements. So awesome! His heartrate has been in the 140s at each appt. According to babycenter.com, he should weigh about 1.5lbs, comparable to a rutabaga, and about 13.5 inches long. I sooo can't wait to meet him! And can't have a post without mentioning the Big Boy!! And big he is getting. He is saying more an more words to me everyday and his speech is coming along. This morning he sang "Twinkle twinkle Little Star" to me. It is sooo stinking cute. He did get some playing time out side this past weekend, but it's not looking so good for this weekend. It's going to be cold around here again..boo! His latest thing is he loves my sunglasses..and if he sees my purse, he wants them. Smart boy knows where I keep them! So I got him his own (because, you know, I don't want mine broken!) He wears them All.The.Time. Loves them. He has his quirks but man they are cute little quirks! We are stillllll working on the transition to the big boy bed. W or I still have lay with him to go to sleep each night, and that can take anywhere from 30-60 minutes. He is getting better at going to sleep faster though. W tried one night make him stay in bed alone. Holy melt down!! And now if you leave the dark room with him alone, he will either follow immediately or start to cry. I think there is still some fear to be worked out. Once he is asleep, though, he stays until 5 or so. He went a whole week of not getting up until 6 but I don't know what happened to that.... Too bad he is sooo stinking cute he gets away with soo much! Love that boy!

22 Weeks

2011-03-24T22:36:00.003-05:00

I had ultrasound #8 this morning for another cervical length check...happy to report that I am still measuring in the normal range!!

Most of my cervical checks and ultrasounds have been with the MFM group at the hospital and let me tell you they are great!! At the OB's office, if their order is for cervical check, that is all they do. The tech that I have had multiple times at the hospital is really great. After doing my cervical check she put the wand on my belly to check the baby....and she spent 10 minutes trying to get good pictures of his face for us!! Today wasn't our day though...he was folded in half and his toes were literally touching his forehead! It was really cute but not very conducive to a great 3d face shot. The ultrasound was in the morning and I am afraid he is just like his brother was in-utero: sleepy in the morning. There were soo many days that the testing tech had to to buzz Charlie to get him to move around and show activity.

So we are now at 22 weeks. I have gained about 10-13 pounds depending on the day. I really have very little restraint to food while pregnant. If I want it, I have it, without going too far overboard. Baby is 11 inches and nearly a pound. My repeat c-section will most likely be scheduled for 38 or 39 weeks...so that leaves 16 or 17 more weeks to go! {I say these weeks assuming we go to term as I am not letting myself think of any other scenario right now}

W and I picked out a name shortly after our 16wk ultrasound when we found we were having another boy. He is going to be Blake Walter. I already have his name in wooden block letters up on the wall in his room. That will be the only decorating I do as he is getting Charlie's old room and I happen to like the theme!

I am going to try to post every week or at least every other week. Thursdays are the days we start a new week in the pregnancy so I will mostly post then.

2 years and 21 Weeks

2011-03-17T12:15:00.002-05:00

Charlie turned two years old two days ago!! The last two years have gone by sooooo very fast. I feel like he is growing up so fast and before my very eyes.

At the end of February, we moved him into a new room and his own big bed. We are still working on the transition though...W or I have to lay with him till he falls asleep (yes, we tend to fall asleep with him, especially me!) and he has been coming to our room around 3 or 4 in the morning. He doesn't get to stay though, I take him right back to his bed where he will sleep til 6:30.

His favorite things to do these days are read and watch Caillou. He brings W or I 'a book' all day, and usually it is the same book over and over. He is saying more and more everyday and repeats just about everything. He also knows his {basic} colors (Dr was very impressed at his two year check up!). He received numerous bikes and outside toys for his birthday and he is very anxious to get out there! Yesterday I opened the back door just to fix our rain bucket and he was SO ANGRY that I would not let him outside as well. Soon, baby, soon...

His respiratory issues seem to be under control. We have not had even so much as a sniffle since November...until this week. I came down with a bad cold last week and then he got it on Tuesday. He has a bad ear infection (first in a year) but so far no wheezing or signs of the cold going into his lungs! So as I much as I hate it, the treatment seems to be working or he is out growing it {I am hoping its the latter!}

This pregnancy is going very well so far!! We found out at 16 weeks that we are having another BOY! He is moving around great and measured well at our anatomy scan. I don't think I have let myself accept that we may go to term yet as our problems with Charles didn't start until 27 weeks...6 more weeks to that point. So far I have had countless appointments, 6 17-P injections, 7 ultrasounds...still to go are atleast 14 more shots, a few more ultrasounds and 16 weeks until we are considered "Full term". I will have a repeat c-section somewhere between 38 and 40 weeks if we make it that far.

A New Adventure!

2010-12-21T10:17:00.004-06:00

Wow...so sorry it's been THREE MONTHS! since I last posted!! A lot has happened yet not a lot has happened ;) Today is my last day of work this week until after Christmas so maybe this week I will find some time to add some updates about Charles.

The biggest update of all for Charles is that he is going to be a BIG BROTHER!!!!! W and I found out about a month ago that we were expecting another little one! We are very excited yet very nervous.

Before even planning to get pregnant, we sat down with our Dr to discuss what would happen with our next pregnancy. We had a plan...17-P shots starting at 16wks, careful monitoring, taking it easy, pelvic rest, etc etc. And we knew that later in the pregnancy we might have complications. Except we didn't know later meant at our first appointment, at 7 weeks.

You see, I had an ultrasound done and while talking with the tech, I mentioned the issues that had occurred during my pregnancy with Charles. And so she measured my cervix. 2.5cm. Yikes! Normal range is 3-5cm. So we are starting off already in trouble...and there is NOTHING they can do right now. There is nothing they can do to save my baby if my cervix opens up at this point.

I left the appointment feeling fine, but by the end of the night (we went out with friends afterwards) all of the 'What-ifs" came flooding in my head and I was a wreck. The biggest fear I had was that we wouldn't make it the 16 week mark to start treatment and that I would never be able to carry a baby long enough for it to be viable. I have since put those thoughts out of my head and am now just going day to day, each day getting us closer to 16 weeks. I go back to our regular OB next week at which point she will write a referral to the High Risk group at our local hospital. It is likely that I will a cerclage placed, and for my sake I am hoping that it is earlier rather than later. I am just hoping that I can also resume fairly normal activities within a week or so of the placement.

I know Dr. M is going to take great care of us. She is very compassionate and asks about Charles each time we see her. I wasn't aware but he was her first 'trouble' baby! She has him on her wall with pride that she got me as far as she did and we got that happy healthy little boy!

So right now I am 8 weeks and 5 days...in approximately 7 weeks we will start the 17-P injections. Just holding on for that day now. And if you ask me if I want a boy or a girl, my response will be I just want a baby.

A first

2010-09-10T21:29:00.002-05:00

It's hard to believe that Charlie has any more firsts right now..I mean I know we still have first day of school but that's still a long way off...Today was his first trip to the ER. Fun, right?

So what led us there?? Well, the last couple days he started coughing and then woke up with a runny nose after his nap yesterday. By bed time he was coughing a very congested cough but wasn't producing anything. I got him to bed (in my bed) but every time he coughed he would roll over so it was a restless sleep. At midnight he woke himself up again. W took him as I wasn't getting any sleep with him in my bed. W got him back to sleep and came to bed at 2. At 4:30, Charlie was up again coughing and crying so I brought him back to my bed. He snuggled up next to me and I could feel his entire little body just trying to get a breath in. For a few minutes I debated just waiting until the Dr's office opened...but I'm glad I didn't as the only open appointment that day was 11:30 (our follow up care appointment). I was also doubting my mama instinct too...thinking I was being too overprotective, but I am confident I made the right decision.
We were taken back to triage right away. Charlie immediately received a pulse-ox monitor that he did not appreciate. And fairly quickly after that we were taken to a room. The Dr listened to him and looked at his chest. Charlie was retracting horribly. The Dr ordered an albuterol breathing treatment and then we had to wait for the meds to take effect so he could listen again. I honestly didn't see much difference. but I knew we were on the right track and was comfortable knowing some meds were in him. Unfortunately his diagnosis is a viral infection so we just have to let it run its course. We went to follow up and the NP ordered more breathing treatments (at home!), so we borrowed a nebulizer from the neighbor and I have been giving them to him every four hours.

Charlie had a really rough day...and was in bed, for the night, at 6:30. He is doing better, I have only heard one coughing episode since he went to bed so I am hoping for a good night. But it's probably going to be a VERY early morning!!

My World

2010-08-25T20:19:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure how I got so lucky..but world is FULL of cuteness!!!!

Here is lil Charlie with me just hamming it up for the camera! He is a cheeseball!

I LOVE looking in Charlie when he is sleeping and seeing what position he is in...Doesn't he look so relaxed? I have found him curled up in the corner, with his legs hanging out, and many other spots...

Tonight he decide he would feed himself his yogurt! He actually did really well! I was so impressed!

Charlie loves anything that is mechanical, and this last week he discovered the closet doors. He will play in his in his room for hours if I let him!

He is soo stinking cute..I may be a bit biased though!

No Fear

2010-08-17T20:33:00.005-05:00

So now that Charlie is walking, he apparently thins he can do anything! Check out this kid going down the slide..FACE FIRST!! He did eat dirt a couple times, but he was also able to catch himself. And seriously, hi did this a million times as it took me that many times to get the right shots!

Getting ready to go...
On the way..with Daddy close behind.

At the bottom.

The boy LOVES being outside!! When I get home from work and pick him up, he waves bye-bye to go outside. Every.single.day. He loves it!

He also likes to go off the back of W's recliner face first, as long as there is a pillow on the floor! He will do the same off the couch, face first! He has no fear! I love that he doesn't but sometimes he scares the bejeezus out of us!

We did swim lesosns this summer! Again, he LOVED it! Everyweek, no matter what the temperature was he would laugh and laugha nd splash and splash! One of the other mom asked if we had a pool because he was so comfortable inthe water. W took him swimming in his brother's pool and Charlie seemed to think he could do it imself as he kept pushing W's hands off! Baby, you're not that good yet!

So in other news..I ran my last half marathon for a looong time two weeks ago. Why for a long time?? Well for one, its really hard to train in the summer. Two, I want to run for fun and not feel guilty that I didn't get my training run in. 3, Its kind of pricey for halfs. and lastly, I hope to be pregnant in the next couple months and that automaticaly takes me out for the next year at the least.

Charlie's walking is getting better and better!! He is less wobbly everyday and almost looks likes he's been walking forever! He is getting so big!!

He is still a somewhat picky eater but loves oreos, pizza, mandarin oranges, apple pieces and EGGS! he hates green beans and carrots and peas. And he used to be soo good at eating his vegetables. Not so much anymore.

That's all that is going on in our neck of the woods. I can't believe summer is already almost over! This coming weekend we are joining our neighbors a their lake house for a day..the next weekend I am off to my BFF's wedding..and then it's labor day! So sad that summer is over..

WALKING!!!

2010-07-27T20:37:00.004-05:00

Woo hoo!!I am finally ready to call Charlie a walker!!!! We are soooo very excited! He has been taking steps between W and I or one of us and a piece of furniture for quite some time, but not too much walking without some encouragement...This past week he has really taken off!

We went on vacation a couple weeks ago and when we got back it was almost as if he forgot what to do. But by the next day he was doing more than before we left. He started standing up on his own without assistance and walking across the room...at least the family room!! As soon as we went out of the family room, he either needed to hold on to a finger or he was crawling. This weekend, he got up on his own outside and walked to Daddy! And yesterday, he let go of my hand on his own!! Tonight I came home from work to find him 'running' around the backyard with daddy and the neighbors. He has been walking around the house since!!

Honestly he has a few moments where he crawls, but I think he is pretty much done with it! He is also still a bit wobbly, but I think within a week or two he should be hanging out with the kids next door and chasing them too! So fun! I am so very proud of him!

On a side note...How did it get to be July? And the last week in July at that?? Yikes this year has gone soooooooo fast!!!

Daddy went fishing!!

2010-06-21T20:23:00.009-05:00

So I spent the week with MOMMY!!! Yep ..its Charlie! I hijacked the blog from momma tonight to let you know how much she dragged me around the state of Illionois! I had a good time with mom, but man she wore me out!

So our week started with Sunday. Daddy left really early in the morning, before I got up even. mommy was bored by noon, but it rained ALL day!

Monday...Aunt Danyel and my cousins Lincoln and Kingston and Nate were going to come visit but we went there instead! I played in the pots and pans with Lincoln..
And Kingston looked on!
Tuesday we went to visit Mom's old neighbor and friend Judy. She has a Granddaughter named Dottie and we played! Judy gave us a yummy lunch and we visited till going to see Aunt Val and Uncle Mike.. You can't see my face in this picture, but I was laughing! Uncle Mike is fuuunnny!!
After walking around the mall in the morning on Wednesday...Mom and I went to the pool with Auntie and cousins Joey, Ben and Tommy (he didn't swim though..he too little). I LOVE LOVE LOVE the water!! I need to learn to wlak though..it wasn't too deep but almost too deep for crawling. Mom rescued me a couple times!
Thursday we went tot he Zoo! my first trip...although it was hard to see the animals. I did get to pet the stringrays..er atleast I tried! I got too excited about the water and splashed alot though. I think I might have scared them away..Ben did not appreciate this as he REALLY wanted to pet the stingrays.

Friday was bit more relaxing...Aunt Danyel and my cousins came to visit and we played. Then mom went to get a new cell phone and Aunt Danyel left rather quickly to try to beat eh awful storms that rolled through...(mom forgot to take pictures though)

And Saturday we went outside to clean up after the storm and I got stung by a wasp!!! It didn't feel too good and my arm was red for awhile, but I feel fine now. Mom gave me juice and I was all good! (oh, and I got my own snack..it was in my new favorite place, on the coffee table!)

Daddy surprised us around 7 last night and I gave him big hugs and his Daddy day present. I was sure glad to see him and so was Mommy!

First Haircut...

2010-06-12T16:51:00.001-05:00

Charlie got his first..err, second, haircut (I gave him his first a week before his birthday, but let's not talk about that now. water under the bridge ya know?) and he did AWESOME in the chair!! I was pleasantly surprised! W wouldn't go with us because he was afraid! ha ha!!

Before:

During:

He looks so handsome and like a big boy now with his hair buzzed!

Trickery!!

2010-06-10T21:48:00.001-05:00

Bwa-hahahaha!

I bet you thought I went the whole month of May without making a post...you might want to check your eyes again!

Yep I am playing games with you and backdated some posts tonight!

Check them out!

Happy Mother's Day!!

2010-05-09T21:25:00.001-05:00

The only requirement that I had for Mother's day is that I spend the entire day with my son!! And that's just what we did!!

I tried to get a picture of us together...

He was busy watching tv though and couldn't be bothered for a good pic!

Then we went to the park...he loved the swings!! And Ben was happy pushing him all afternoon..

And to my Mom,

Thank you for everything you do for us! I wouldn't be who I am without you leading by example. I admire your strength, tenacity and perseverance. I love you!

Tommy came to visit!

2010-05-02T21:10:00.000-05:00

Since I wanted to spend my first (er, second) Mother's Day with my son, my sister, mom and I hung out the Sunday before to kind of celebrate. Stacie brought Tommy and Ben to play with Charlie..and of course he LOVED it!

This Charlie sharing a box with Ben. He wasn't playing in it, but once he saw Ben in it he had to be in it too!

But he did NOT want to share his changing pad! (fortunately we caught Tommy before he rolled off!). All I could do was lauugh..it was soo cute (sorry, Tommy, your cousin really does love you!)

And here he is in his first bubble bath! We can't let him have bbubble baths anymore though because it makes his excema flare up... poor baby has sensitive skin :( just like all the other kids in the family.

So he is 14 months old now and still not walking...but we aren't too worried yet. He isn't behind by any means and is ahead in some of his fine motor skills. He'll get there!

I am still running and making great progress! I ran 9 miles this weekend and it felt great. Two weeks till the big rce! I hope I am ready...but either way I am crossing the staring and FINISH line! I don't care how long it takes me..ok yes I do, but I am trying to be realistic in that I am just getting comfortable doing distances again. So we'll see....

Progress!

2010-04-28T15:12:00.002-05:00

I love when progress is made! Here is what we are making progress in these days:

1) My running...Today I ran three miles (per the trainging program I am following). They felt pretty good...and not only that I am seeing tremendous improvements in my speed and heart rate. I now start at 6.2 MPH (9:40 min per mile) and increase 1 mph each mile. Sometimes I do a sprint at 7 mph at the end. So what does that really mean? Well...before I got pregnant with Charles, my first mile was usually around 6.7 to 6.8 mph. I could do 4 miles in about 34-36 minutes. When I was able to work out again after having Charles (about one year ago), I could barely run at 5.5 mph..nearly an 11 minute mile! Also if I tried to go any faster my heart rate would sky rocket into the (high) 190s. That is not good!! Now... during that three mile run today, my heart rate didn't go over 180 until I did the 2 minute sprint at the end. Oh and I feel much much better after a run. Race day (half marathon) is in just over two weeks..I am feeling very anxious about it, but I am doing it anyway!

2) Charles walking...ok so we were making progress, but I am afraid we may have had some regression. For a week or so he was doing really great at standing himself up and not holding onto anything. And he would take steps if you held his hands. But now, when you hold his hands and pick him up to walk, he sticks his feet straight out into the air! He wants nothing to do with it! To say he is stubborn is an understatement!

3) Convincning W to have another BABY! ok no, I am NOT pregnant..but I sure wish I was!! I have been able to get him from saying that charles has to be potty trained, eating on his own, independent, etc. to now saying Charles just needs to walk!! Well..that should be just around the corner, right? Right?! Ok don't get to excited..even if Charles starts walking tomorrow, we are still waiting until this fall. I want to get my body back 100% (just to ruin it of course!) and there are a couple other things to do... Don't expect to see too many posts regarding TTC or me being pregnant though until we announce that we actually are! And we will probably wait till after the first trimester this time. I am just sooo excited that I couldn't keep it in! I also have a lot of nerves coming with this upcoming pregnancy...too many real possibilities of different outcomes that scare teh daylights out of me. But that's for another post another time..

Photo Contest

2010-04-20T21:21:00.002-05:00

I entered Charles in Parents Magazine cover contest..this is the photo you can vote for:

Here

Ten winners will be chosen..9 by readers and 1 by the editors...to go to New York for a photo shoot. The ultimate winner will then be on the cover of the November issue of Parents! I am crossing my fingers..but not holding my breath! (as of tonight we were #3049...ha ha!)

Give that boy a scholarship!!

2010-04-07T20:53:00.003-05:00

Daddy is already training Charlie to be an all star athlete...check out these moves:

And this is his version of 'So Big'..except we call it 'TOUCHDOWN!'

Fun with my pictures

2010-03-26T21:03:00.003-05:00

I discovered I could edit my pictures the other night..

Check out this cute boy in the bath:

Now check him out again:

I kind of love it!

One Year ago..

2010-03-23T21:39:00.001-05:00

Well, since I didn't post a 'birthday' post, I thought I would a do a 'one year ago' post! So, here goes:

One year ago W and I were finally able to bring this little teeny tiny thing home:

He spent 8 whole days in the NICU. It is by far the most emotional time of my life. I still to this very day get choked up about it. I guess you could say that I was in a bit of shock that it was happening to us!

After delivering Charles via emergency c-section on Sunday March 15, I was discharged that Wednesday. To say I was emotional is an understatement. I tried soooo hard to convince the nurses, the doctors, and myself that he would be ok if he came home with me...little did I know that he would actually end up with a feeding tube in the coming days!

It was actually quite a surprise to walk into the NICU on Monday morning and see that Charles no longer had the feeding tube...and an even greater surprise that he in process of being DISCHARGED!!!! Woo hoo...what a great day!

And now?? I have a 23.5lb, 30 in. ONE YEAR OLD!! We love him to death..he rules our world! I can't imagine my life without him. He makes me smile. Every. Day.

I'll get to it...

2010-03-17T20:32:00.004-05:00

one of these days! I bet you are thinking that I forgot to post something about Charles turning one, huh??

Well fret no more..I have not forgotten! (but this is not that post either!)

Charles did in fact turn ONE on Monday...but I have been lacking the energy (or maybe I don't want to accept it) to make a big post about it. I will though. I PROMISE!

Until then (probably this weekend)...just so you know, Charles is doing GREAT! He laughs ALOT and plays ALOT and appears to LOVE the outdoors. I'll put some more stuff int he one year update post to come.

Also in case you are wondering, training is going GREAT (love all caps tonight!) I have been getting the requisite runs in per the training program and I am already noticing speed and endurance improvement after only two weeks! Love it! I still have a long way to go..but only 8.5 weeks now till race day.

Time to get serious!

2010-03-10T10:16:00.001-06:00

So I've really been trying to get back into running regulary and getting my stamina and speed back. It hasn't been going the greatest for me. My heart rate escalates to the 190's if I go any faster than an 11 minute mile. It frustrates me and then I take a break..usually for two weeks.

BUT..I really want to get back into it. So I am running a half marathon. I missed the first two weeks of training and now only have 10 weeks to get ready. My first goal is just to finish at this point. When I was at my best, my goal was to finish in under 2 hours. This year it will be to finish in 2-2.5 hours. I think I can do it..

I am also registering for two other small races in the coming weeks..a 5K on April 3 and a 10K on April 25th.

Time to get serious about it!!

Not Me Monday!!

2010-03-08T12:31:00.001-06:00

So I haven't done one of these in awhile...but I certainly have to have something, right??

So first off..

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So lets get going..

-I certainly did not picka pimple on my face only for to implode UNDER my skin, resulting in a very swollen face and a 6 day regimine of antibiotics. Nope..I leave those things alone everytime and let them do whatever it is they are going to do..

- I do not allow my son to snack all day...I mean he should be eating 3 meals a day now and having milk as a drink right? I never let him eat a whole bowl of puffs or cheerios just because he wants them..and we never leave them just laying around the living room for him to grab whenever!

-I am not feeling guilty that I am not having a big shindig for Charlie's first birthday. I mean he won't remember anyway right??

-I most certainly did not try to cut Charlie's hair prior to getting his one year pics taken. Nope I leave that up to the professionals! Because I certainly wouldn't have botched it and made him look silly (ok it was only the back that is bad..I think I may have kinda fixed it so its not too too bad anymore)

-After declaring that I was committing to running a half marathon in 10 short weeks...I did not stop working out/training all together for two whole weeks. Nope running is very important to me and I make sure I get a few miles in every day. It helped that Charlie gave me his cold and then my face swelled up... I have the training program no so we should be all good!!

-I did not send my husband to the store yesterday knowing full well that he doesn't check prices and usually comes home with junk food. Nope. I take that responsibility and try to save as much money as I can...I am certainly not too lazy to go to the grocery store.

-On my four days off of work (and the weekend), I certainly did not stay home the entire time, only leaving only once to take Charlie to the Dr. Nope I like going out of house and hate staying home...really! (ok we were sick otherwise we would've been out and about)

Ok I think thats all I have for now...

New Toy...

2010-02-09T20:19:00.003-06:00

W went to the store tonight and came home with this:
Charlie LOVED it!!

He went from one end

to the other...

and then got tired!!
But he loved it so much!! Silly boy!

One year ago..

2010-01-24T21:00:00.002-06:00

This was me...

all drugged up on magnesium trying to stop the contractions that were trying to push my 27 week gestation baby out..ok maybe that was a little dramatic! :) But seriously, yes I was contracting and yes they were having a hard time stopping them. AND I was two centimeters dialated.

Oddly at the time, I wasn't as scared as I probably should have been. I look back at that time and realize I was in complete denial that anything bad could possibly happen. In fact I can tell you what I was thinking: When I first went to the hospital "I'm dehydrated, they are going to give me fluids and then send me home" and then two days later..."I just want to go home". Fortunatley I did go home on the third day, but it was on bed rest. Only to be sent back two weeks later.

So what about that day? Well I started in one hospital, was immediately transferred to another when they discoverd I was 2 cm and then gave me morphine at midnight that finally knocked out the contractions. I could feel the contractions, but they weren't painful until midnight, hence the morphine. A cervical measurement before I was discharged was 2.6cm when I was discharged...they like it to be 3-5cm.

I sometimes go back and read what I wrote while I was hospitalized (I started the blog during the second stay) and still have very raw emotions when I realize the extent of the danger my son was in, yet at the time I just wanted to go home...it honestly makes me feel sooo very selfish that I did not comprehend the gravity of the situation...

But now, I have this:

How lucky am I?!?!

Crawling

2010-01-16T22:10:00.003-06:00

Here is a video W took of Charlie crawling all over the house:

Yep, we are chasing him all over all day long!!

Check out that face...

2010-01-16T21:06:00.004-06:00

after taking a bit of Daddy's Granny Smith Apple! HA HA HA!!

Charlie is getting SO big!! He turned ten months old yesterday...I can hardly beleive he will be a year old in two short little months! Where has the last year gone?!?

Here is what he is up to lately:

Reading his books....

Holding his own bottle...

Playing and general mischief:

Trying to climb on things..Daddy is his favorite thing to climb on and over:

Cuddling with his blanket: (we often find him in weird positions with his blankie...and no he didn't suffocate, he is still alive and well!)

After a week of amoxicillin, his ear and croup have gone away...hopefully for good. The amoxicillin did cause some GI issues with him and the poor thing ended up with a raw bottom. Thankfully that has cleared up as well. He is back to eating all four of 8 ounce bottles everydya..AND lots of baby food! Fruits and all! I was in shock when W called me one day at work and said he ate three tubs (3.5oz) of food in one sitting...and one of them was fruit! So far he has benn doing this every day (and still eating dinner too!). I hope he keeps it up. He is doing better with chewing and chunky foods too...no gagging anymore! He does like to suck on things for awhile though, especially if I give him a bite of my food while he is playing.

Our newest 'issue', which really isn't a big issue, is bedtime. I worked late a lot of nights over the last two weeks and left Daddy on duty for bedtime (its usually my job) and he didn't always put Charlie to bed at 8 (which is his normal bed time). He would let him play until he was 'ready' which was sometimes 9. Uh, not ok! So now I have to 're-train' him to go to bed at 8. tonight went ok..he actually went to bed early due to lack of an afternoon nap. But last night was awful. I thought I had him down but then W and I made noise and then he was up again...and cried in my arms for 30 minutes!! I am not sure who it was worse for, me or him...

He is doing everything else a normal 10-month old should be doing..babbling, crawling, pulling up...We are still working on using a sippy cup (he has the concept down, but chews instead of sucks it), mimicking my movements (clapping, pointing, waving, sign language) and someother minor things I can't think of right now....I am not worried at all about these as I know they will come. He loves to crawl on the couch, loves his bath, loves cheerios, and LOVES his daddy!!

How far we have come...

Sick baby!

2010-01-04T11:59:00.003-06:00

Update: After talking to W again, Charlie also has croup. poor baby! There isn't anythign we can do for the croup..just let it run its course. It takes anywhere from 3 to 7 dyas to work its way through so we've got up to 4 days left of it. Ugh!

Original Post:
Charlie has a had what I thought was a cold for the last 4 or so days...then last night his congested cough turned into a dry cough and he coughed till he puked, 3 times! Also he hasn't been eating his bottles or food too good. So....

I called the Dr this AM just to be safe. W took him in and the diagnosis is an ear infection! I expected just a cold diagnosis and let it run its course... Never thought he had an ear infection. He did grab at his ear, but he's been doing that. And he didn't have a fever.

So he gets his second round of antibiotics in his short little life and hopefully he will be feeling better quickly!

Photo Update

2010-01-02T20:32:00.003-06:00

At long last here are some recent pics of the little man!

Isn't he just so stinking cute!?!? I LOVE this little boy!

He discovered this new toy in our house:

W and I after exchanging our vows..on of the only pics we got of us together.

Getting excited to open presents:

This was our Christmas card pic:

Being oh so naughty and crawling behind the couch:

Nana made him another blanket..this one has his name on it!

I have also been working diligently on his baby book..I have just about every month through seven months started. My goal is to have it completed by his first birthday

ooops...

2009-12-28T09:55:00.003-06:00

Wow..Do I have some updating to do!! Every day this month I thought to myself that I needed to update the blog..but I never had the energy! It's been a busy busy month! So here is the recap of December:
-Charles started getting into a sitting position from laying right after Thanksgiving. And from there (the very same day it seemed!) he started pulling himself up on our furniture! He now pulls himself up on EVERYTHING and is also cruising around the couch.

-He has also refined his crawling technique! He went from army crawling to alternating between the inch worm and actual crawling. He can do a real crawl, but seems to get lazy and then reverts back to the inch worm. Its actually really cute!

-W and I got MARRIED this month too!! It was nice weekend for us..we went to the good ol' courthouse and said our 'I do's' with a few friends and family, went out to dinner that night, and then had nearly all of our friends and family over for a celebration the next day! Sadly..we didn't get too many pictures. W and I were both so busy with our guests that we hardly spent anytime together during the celebration..which makes me really glad that we had our day the day before!
-Charlie turned 9 months old this month too! He weighed in at 22lbs and was 29in long at his checkup. Dr says he is doing great and meeting all the milestones he should as 9 month old! Preemie status...What preemie status?!!?

-Charlie had his very first Christmas last week! I can't say he enjoyed it any more than any other day...He is still too young to know the difference, but I enjoyed trying to make him excited. He did love his toys and has already injured himself a few times! Silly boy!

-Yesterday while I was playing with him, I noticed he has two more teeth!! He doesn't seem to be a bad teether...thankfully! He gets a little crabby here and there, but overall nothing terrible. He still sleeps through the night and goes to bed awake without a fuss.

-Oh and that whole eating thing?? Much improved!! He is eating baby foods again! woo-hoo! Although, if it is not a sweet potato or squash based food, he still fights with us. He still loves his cheerios, puffs and yogurt melts. I gave him townhouse crackers and a piece of cheese at a birthday party yesterday and he chomped on those too! He Loved it! We keep trying new things though. I also have been trying to give him the 3rd foods jars.. he is not as much a fan of those though because of the chunks. He still gags a bit, but the only way he will get used to it is to keep trying so I give it to him anyway!

So I think that is the jist of the month of December...Sorry there aren't any pics with this post (I am at work!) . I will try to do a photo update this weekend when I have another four days off!!

somebody thinks he is a big boy!

2009-11-30T17:15:00.006-06:00

So remember how I have been complaining that Charlie doesn't want to eat his pureed fruits? Well, apparently Charlie doesn't want to eat pureed ANYTHING! Last week, he started refusing any and all baby food spoon fed to him. This is so very frustrating to me... My solution: try the finger foods! He LOVES to feed him self. Last week I gave him Lucky Charms (minus the marshmallows) and he loved it! (sidebar: I am well aware of the sugar content of lucky charms, however not being prepared to serve my 8 month old finger foods yet, that was all I had. I have since picked up the biggest box of cheerios I could find!)

So we also gave him Thanksgiving dinner too!! I am not sure how much of it he actually swallowed, but here he is chowing on some turkey:

Other things he has had:
-Cheese
-Crackers (wheat thins and Ritz)
-Chicken cubes
-Mashed potatoes (not sure if actually ate this but I gave it to him)
-Cheerios
-fresh banana
-fresh (well ripened) pear
-Turkey hot dogs
-whole (cut up) green beans

W was able to spoon feed some squash to him today..not much, but some. His favorite foods are anything that is crunchy. He is not so much a fan of the soft mushy things (like bananas..what kid doesn't like bananas???), but we keep trying. We will keep trying the pureed stuff too until he gets better at the finger foods and not choking!

He also has made great progress on crawling! Ok, well actually he is army crawling!! But, only if he really really wants something..like daddy's phone! He did it a little bit last night, but when I moved the object (in this case a combination lock) out of his reach again, he cried at me. He apparently does not like to be teased. ;)

There is not much else changing with him. He is just growing and getting big like a normal baby. No one would ever know he was a preemie. Wait, have I said that before? Sorry about that...

Wedding plans are coming along. W is trying to thwart my 'special day' by getting the oil changed on my car since it is my only day off and it needs to get done. oh well..I'll try not to think about it. But otherwise...my Mom is handling most of the food prep since she just so happens to be off work next week. And then I just have to clean the house. Not sure when I am going to get this done but it will happen. We have acquired a few guests that will be joining us at the courthouse on Friday. Some are special people that we want there, others are just coming along for the fun of it!! I have my dress (not a wedding gown though), I have my rings, and we just need to get W a ring. Sister-in-law D is going to do something nice with my hair on Saturday. So I think we are set. I haven't really put to much effort in so far, but I think I better get my butt in gear! It's less than two weeks away!

Eight Months!

2009-11-15T21:07:00.003-06:00

Now that I have added pics to the seven month update..I can write the Eight month update!! Yep...I'm a slacker. Haven't been too good about keeping up witht hings lately...soo anyway...

Charles is eight months old today!! Wow how time flies!! Not much has really changed since his seven month update...just getting bigger. He did cut another tooth today so that that makes a total of four. He still isn't crawling. But he can stand by holdingon to something. We don't have to hold him up, but if we aren't careful he will fall!!

He is still fighting me on eating fruits...yesterday i managed to get him to eat a full tub of pear-pineapple, but had no success today. And lately he has even been fighting meon veggies too. Unless its squash. He is so picky. I keep trying though.. Soon we will go to finger foods. He is loving the 'puffs' right now. I want to try peas this week.

Ok so here are some pics:

Not sure how I got this super cute pose...but I love it!!

Standing all big! And yes he prefers to play on his exersaucer on the outside of it. So silly!

He can kind of hold his own bottle!! If he notices you 'helping' him, he will let go. NAd if you let him hold it on his own, he will eventually choke on it..

Finally found his toes...take his pants off and the toes go in the mouth!

Playing on the strangely warm day in November...his first time in a swing!

7 Mos and Halloween

2009-11-02T21:33:00.005-06:00

UPDATE: Pics added (finally!)

OK..Let's get this done!! I have been putting off updating the blog because...Ok I don't have a good reason. I have been busy..underwhelmed at work which actually drains me more than being busy. Let's not mention planning a wedding..albeit small.

So in the last few weeks...Charles turned 7 months!! He is getting soo big! I measured him this weekend and he is 28 inches...thats nearly 10 inches longer than his birth length. He finally found his feet...and he went on a fruit strike. Yep, my kid does not like fruit. I can hardly believe it! I mean seriously, that was most of my diet while I was pregnant! This weekend he also got another tooth. He'll be eating steak before I know it!

He is moving around a lot now, too. No crawling yet, but goes in a mean circle and watch out if you are standing behind him...He is good at backwards! He has also begun reaching out for me..err, anyone. If you hold your hands out to him, he will reach back! (He even went to a random girl at this weekend's birthday party!)

That's about all the milestones as of late. Other than that, I have just been enjoying him and taking him to do 'Fall' things: Apple Orchard, Pumpkin Patch, Halloween costume. I am hoping to start making traditions of these things and I hope he loves it when he gets older!

Back to the wedding for a minute...I have the dress, the rings (well, mine!), the location (my house, ha!), the license, and the invites are out. The only thinkg left is nailing down the 'menu'. Thank goodness for my Mom. She is helping alot and reminding me of all the things we are going to need. Even simple can get complicated. Ugh. Oh well, I am looking forward to a great weekend in December!!

**I can't get my pics to load so I will have to try again tomorrow...sorry!

Stellan

2009-10-29T09:04:00.005-05:00

He needs prayers agian. The poor baby has been in teh hospital since Tuesday night and is not doing well. His story is here

AND its his very first BIRTHDAY!

Some Exciting news!!

2009-10-22T13:11:00.002-05:00

I have not blogged about this yet since I have called and talked to directly most of my readership...

W and I are getting MARRIED!!!

I am beyond excited! I love the man with my whole heart.. and he has proven time and time again, especially in this past year, how much I can rely on him and his love! He is the best father I have ever seen (biased, I know!)...and I will be proud and honored to be his wife!

We are not having any kind of spectacular 'wedding'...but it is a wedding none the less. We will be going to the JP on Friday December 11 and having a 'Celebration' in our home on Saturday December 12. Yep, only 7 weeks away!

I am so glad to finally be married!

Could it be!?!?

2009-10-16T21:59:00.004-05:00

UPDATE:
Well I didn't do intervals today (or yesterdy for that matter)..But, I did pick up the pace on a steady 3 mile run! I am now up to 9:40 minute mile! Woo-hoo!! Still a far cry from what I used to be able to do..buta lso a far cry from where I started six months ago upon release from the Dr.

Could I finally be getting my strength and endurance back!?!? I was able to run five whole miles tonight..with one short break in the middle. And I didn't feel like I was dying or that my lungs were bleeding! Finally, I feel like i am making progress!!

Pregnancy, seven weeks of bedrest and a c-section really took a toll on my body. I am fortunate that my weight is not really showing it (just a few extra pounds), but getting back into running after being a regular 5-mile a day girl has been really really really hard. I get so frustrated that I can't do what I think I shoul dbe able to and I end up quitting. This last break was for three weeks, but since I feel so good after this week, I might be able to keep it up!

So the plan is to continue intervals next week in hopes to increase speed and then I am going to follow a marathon training program for some structure and guidance for increasing endurance. It will be my second attempt at this, but it's looking more promising and appealing to me now!

Here's hoping!

Btw- Sorry this isn't about Charles! Yes, he is seven months old; yes, I need to blog about that; no, it's not tonight!

Not Me Monday!!

2009-10-12T21:28:00.005-05:00

It's almost the end of the day, but I thought I might jump into the circus this week anyway...so here goes:
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

-I did not work ~60 hours last week and miss my son terribly. Nope not me. I love my evenings with him and nothing is more important than spending that quality time him...err except maybe staying employed so we can still pay the mortgage.

-I did not tell my bosses 'too bad, so sad' one night last week so that I could have ONE night home with the babe. Nope, I didn't leave at 5 so I could have a couple hours when there was TONS of work to do and only to have to work til midnight the next night!

-I did not come home to find a clean house, dishes done, and laundry washed, dryed and put away. Nope..I am a super mom and can do it all and work a 60 hour week. W is the best.

-Speaking of W, I did not just tell him he was off his rocker when he told me that Chalres needs to drink water to get iron! What?!?! And he further explained that the reasons kids are weak is because they are not drinking tap water! again...What?!?! He is silly...

-I did not complain of being exhausted all weekend only to not go to bed early. Nope I need my sleep and I get as much as I can..unless it interferes with work or going to the apple orchard of course.

-I did not let my nearly 7 month old son entertain himself for about 15 minutes last night because he does not LOVE the new jumper that we are borrowing. Seriously he would have jumped al night. And he thought it was the funniest thing again today! I have never seen him laugh so much (seriously) and he is an overly happy baby!

-And last but not least..I am NOT dragging W to the pumpkin patch next weekend in hopes of starting some new family traditions. I think he only agreed to it because I asked while I was super busy at work and he knows how much that stresses me, oh and his fav cousin will be going to.

NICU

2009-10-01T21:47:00.002-05:00

Yesterday W and I got to participate in a nursing seminar focusing on NICU nurses and 'Family Centered Care'. It was a great experience..long, but great! We participated as part of a parent panel, sharing our story. It was emotional to say the least. We are blessed with a happy healthy baby, but other moms and dads that were on the panel were not all so fortunate.

I have been aware over the last few months that my emotions are still very very raw from our whole experienc. Its weird..because we had such a good outcome, I should be nothing but happy. But everytime I think back on it, I think of what I did 'wrong' and how selfish I was. I thought of my feelings first when I wanted to go home while in HRM and then again when I wanted him to come home with me. And also how I didn't put him and his needs first when visitors came. And how I would have to walk away from him everyday to leave him in the care of other people.

Its almost as if the emotions I should have had then are coming out now. W probably thought I was nuts as I was crying right along with the mom who didn't get to hold her baby for two and half MONTHS!! I had to wait over 12 HOURS and that was too long, although a minute compared to how long she had to wait.

Unless you have been there, you never know how traumatic it is going to be. One of the mom's stated that it was as if she watched everything unfold from the outside looking in. I felt that way alot too. It was so surreal from teh first day of being admitted to day I brought him home. Every step of the way I asked myself "Is this really happening?" For a long time I had feelings that I wouldn't ever have or be able to have children...when I got pregnant so easily, those thoughts immediately left me. I also never ever thought I would have complications. I had no reason to believe that I would. Both sisters, mom and aunts had fairly healthy pregnancies, with minor if any complications. The 'Super-Mom' mentality kicked in long before Charles actually arrived!

So after all that...I am preparing myself for the next pregnancy, a year away yet, but I am a planner. I been told in o uncertain terms that pre-term labor will occur again. And earlier. I have to do everything I can to prevent this. With early labor comes early babies. If the labor is earlier, we are bound to have a baby earlier. There will definitely be different visiting policies established by me (and W, we will have to talk very in depth about what we want to happen next time).

I learned alot from the conference yesterday...about what I can do as a mom and what things I can make sure I am a part of. Things WILL be different next time.

Photo Shoot!

2009-09-27T12:22:00.004-05:00

We got Charles' official SIX MONTH pictures done today!! He did sooo awesome! I was pleasantly suprised...We took Daddy with us since Daddy can always make him smile, but the girls worked wonders on him and he smiled for EVERY pose!! He are some of my fvorites:

Half a year

2009-09-15T21:52:00.005-05:00

I can't believe my little man is six months old already! wow has time flown by!!
We came from this:

To this:He is only supposed to be 4.5 months old right now..but we are SOOO very thankful of where we are and how healthy this (big!) little guy is!!

PS- Doesn't daddy take such great pics?!

Here he is getting ready to watch football this weekend..Daddy wasn't to fond of is team colors! hee hee!

TWO big milestones today!!

2009-09-10T20:17:00.003-05:00

My baby is getting big!!!

1) Charlie's two bottom teeth broke through!! You can't see them yet, but I can sure feel them! So far, he is a good teether. He hasn't been especially fussy and is still sleeping through the night. He is, however, gnawing on his hands any chance he gets, and yesterday started a runny nose. Hopefully in the next couple days they will be through enough to get a picture (if he lets me of course!)

2) He can now get up on his hands and knees! Tonight I watched him progress from just pushing up, to rocking, to being able to move one leg forward. he hasn't quite figured out how to pick up the hands to go forward though so he face plants when that leg goes forward. Too cute!!

I hadn't blogged about it before, but he started rolling over (back to front) a couple weeks ago. He will actualy go to his tummy as soon as you put him on the floor on his back. Fortunately he hasn't been rolling over too much in his crib. It's almost as if he forgot how to go from front to back!

Here are some rolling picks ..(sorry he didn't cooperate for me to get him all the way over..)

I'm trying...

2009-09-01T13:42:00.004-05:00

UPDATE: I managed get FOUR workouts in so far this week! Lots of intervals and today I did speed intervals! So hard but felt sooo great! I am taking tomorrow off (busy day at work) and then will hit the path for some 'distance' on Saturday. I am also comfortably in my pre-pregnancy work pants as of today! Oh and one pound down, only 9 more to go! Woo-hoo!!

To get on a new exercise schedule..as in everyday. Today is day two of this week. Although for the last couple weeks, I have made it to day two and can't seem to get over that hurdle.

The thing is, when I workout, I have to work out HARD! This makes me tired and then I don't want to do it again the next day. And also, I am so eager to get my speed and stamina back that I am not taking the 'baby steps' that are necessary to get there. It takes time..and I am not patient.

But this week..a new approach! Yesterday and today, I did interval training on the treadmill. Slower than what I would have done if I did 30 straight minutes of running. But it is still good for the heart to practice recovery. In fact, I feel so good after today's workout, that I want to go home and do a 15-min speed workout. (Disclaimer: my 'speed' is still slow!) But no time tonight. The kid needs food so I must go to the store tonight and I refuse to go (or workout) before he is in bed.

When I trained for marathons, I followed a schedule and hardly ever strayed from it. I enjoyed it and I liked knowing what I would be doing each day during the training period. I am not quite as disciplined as I am during training. I need to find that discipline again.

I have two goals: 1) lose 10 pounds (5 is extra pregnancy weight, 5 just because I need too!); 2) Run a half marathon in 2 hours next spring..Madison, Memorial Day weekend.

I think I can do #1 by Christmas, or atleast be close. #2 will be hard. Even at my best I never hit the 2hr mark. And next spring will be here before we know it!

"Discharged"

2009-08-26T12:32:00.002-05:00

No we weren't 'admitted', but I learned yesterday that you are not fully discharged from NICU services until the baby no longer requires follow up visits. We were officially discharged from NICU services yesterday!

Charles weighed in at a whopping 18lbs 3.5oz and 26 3/4 in.!! He was rated in the 97th percentile for his 'adjusted' age (about 4 months). The NP we saw referred to him as a hot rod!

It was a fun visit, to say the least! She performs a series of tests to determine wher he is developmentally. He passed nearly all with flying colors!! The ones that he was if-y on were standing (he wanted to stand on his toes and wouldn't stand on his heels, although he does for us and id it right after she left the room!); pulling himself up from a laying position (holding on to her fingers) and touching his toes (he still ahs no interest in his feet). I'm not sure entirely what the numbers mean but they consider a 10 excellent and right on track for Fine and gross moor skills...Charles was rated a 15 and 19!!!! And his development is that of a 5 and 6 month old!! Woo hoo!

So needless to say...we were discharged!! (with the caveat that if we ever feel Charles needs to be evaluated, we can call and he will be 're-admitted')

We were also excited to see some of our old nurses...Denise and Elise! They were also very impressed by his growth. He flirted with them the entire time they were holding him! I should have taken pics..(I mean if Denise would have let me! lol!)

ALSO...Please help me say some prayers for a friend's little baby girl...Josie Emma was born on Monday morning. They knew that she had a growth on her hand and something going on with her kidneys. Upon her arrival, it turns out she has much bigger issues going on with her lower GI and kidneys, and may also have to have a procedure done today. She is currently in the NICU and her Mom is recovering in another hospital.

No focus..

2009-08-24T11:00:00.003-05:00

Lately, I can't focus on ANYTHING!

It's Monday morning, I have plenty of work that needs to be tended too, but I can't get my head 'in the game'.

All I want to do is be home with W and Charles...I have the next two days off, but what about the days after that? And the weeks after that??

I also can't seem to make myself workout and eat healthy consistently enough to lose the baby weight I am still holding onto..about 10lbs to get back my pre-baby physique.

Ugh...

Housework

2009-08-23T16:21:00.004-05:00

A blog post that is NOT about the baby! You may not want to read if you only want to know about Charlie!! lol!

This was the first weekend that W and have had NOTHING going on. We were finally able to make some real progress on the yard. W wants to take everything out, I would like to keep some of our nice bushes, but I am losing the battle. He is letting me re-landscape the fron and back...just no big bushes, and nothing that overhangs the sidewalk.

So here is what we got done (I don't have any before pics, so just picture in your head overgrown plants and weeds in all areas that are now dirt!)

And this is what still needs to be done...

-W wants tot ake all these pine bushes out..after it's all out I will just seed this so its grass all the way to the house.

-And these crab apple trees are planted randomly in the middle of the yard..there were four and only two are alive now. They will be gone to open the yard up for the kids and dogs (you know, when we have more kids and get some dogs)

And this is just W working...he loves that I took his picture and posted it (well, he would if he knew I did this...hee hee!)

One year ago...

2009-08-20T16:12:00.003-05:00

I should have posted this yesterday..but it just occurred to me that it was exactly one year ago that I discovered I was pregnant! I can still remember the day (and the days that followed)like it was yesterday.

The prior weekend I had gone to visit my bestest friend and had a drink or two. The next morning, I felt like I had done shots all night long!! I had a drink each night the next two nights. I thought I was in the clear..a negative test a week before and what I thought was my cycle starting that Friday morning. By Sunday evening I had a monster headache I took Aleve and maybe even a migraine pill and went to bed. I called off work the next day due to the headache. That evening it occurred to me the possibility...It was literally like a light bulb went on!!

The next day, Tuesday, August 19, I went to work, but the thought of being pregnant was gnawing at me. I made an excuse to my boss and quickly ran over to Target and back. My nerves were getting to me and I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom...but alas only two drops, both of which landed on the stick. Disappointed in 'ruining' the test, I returned to my desk and drank another bottle of water. Within an hour I was ready to test again. Since I only 'got a drop' on that first stick I figured I would just use it again. When I pulled it out it was already positive!! I was in complete shock! I took another test just to be sure and the screen immediately showed two lines...no three minute wait, my hormones were already high!

Frantically I tried to get a hold of W...he of course was sleeping! I got a hold of my BFF first. Most of my side of the conversation was "OMG! OMG!" W finally called back and I broke the news. His first reaction "I thought I had more time"! Lol! We definitely were not expecting to get pregnant in the first month! We had vacation planned in September and we were to start 'trying' then.

The next call was to my GP and I was scheduled that day. Then, my sister. She was less than pleased. Not the reaction I expected at all!! We laugh about it now (yes she came around and very quickly)but, man, my feelings were hurt.

We told my Mom in person the following weekend. I took her a card with a picture of W and I in it along with a picture of the positive pregnancy test. I was going to use that to tell her, but ended up just saying it before I gave her the card. We then waited a few more weeks to tell W's family. That is another hilarious story!! Phones really should be taken away from people who are completely wasted at 5am!!!!

Who knew at that point what would ensue just a short five months later...

Another week gone by

2009-08-17T08:57:00.002-05:00

Time goes by way way way too fast these days. My days (when I am not at work) seem so robotic (explanation to come) that before I know it it's bed time again. Explanation: We (charlie and I ) get up, eat, have a bottle, play, nap and we go through that cycle 4-5 times during the day. Really I LOVE it, but the day sure goes by way to fast. So fast in fact that Charlie is already FIVE months old!!

We did have some excitement this weekend. A good friend celebrated her 29th birthday with a pool party and we spent Saturday afternoon over there. Charlie swam a bit but I didn;t get in so he couldn't stay in very long. And then we spent the rest of the afternoon on the lawn (in the shade of course!) His first big day outside! He went to bed a bit early that noght and slept for OVER 12 hours! He was tired!

Sunday we went to my Mom's to visit her and get some tomatoes (her garden is exploding with tomatoes right now). That also entails a visit with Gus, her big hyper golden retriever. Charlie totally dug the dog! Gus couldn't get enough of him! But Charlie never flinched, cried or whined the entire time, even when Gus tried to take his blanket and may have nipped his toes and hands. He even cracked a few half smiles at the dog! I loved it since I want a dog next year.

Sunday also brought a visit from Danyel and her two boys. Lincoln is getting so big and both boys poked at each other a bit! I can't wait til they can actually play together!

So its back to the grind again this week...I sure could use some time off! (Because you know 15 weeks at the beginning of the year wasn't enough!) Next week I will be home for two days and I can't wait!! We are taking Charlie to his (most likely) last NICU follow up appointment on Tuesday. Our regular Dr says he is all caught up, so I am guessing the NICU clinic won't need to see him anymore. And then the other day I am just relaxing..maybe getting caught up (or atleast a couple months) on Charlie's baby book. I am so far behind...as in hardly started! I need to get on that so I don't have a full year to do all at once! My sister was kind enough to get all the stuff for me so I really need to put it together.

Not Me Monday!

2009-08-09T21:07:00.004-05:00

I haven't participated in a few weeks, so certainly I have some "Not Me's" to share!

First, I did not ignore my child's screaming on the last hour of our 2.5 hour drive home, hoping that he would just fall asleep. Nope. Not me.

I certainly did not update my blog while working, on the busiest day of my month! Nope I wouldn't put the reports due to the VP on hold while I update you and teh fact that my son can now roll over in bed!

I did not flip out on W yesterday when he didn't do what I wanted him to do when I wanted him to do it. I mean afterall he manages to take care of the baby and get stuff done right? So why can't I? It certainly wasn't 90 degrees with 100% humidity today so Charles could have certainly sat out side with me while I pulled weeds...Yea. Not so much.

I did not call my sister every day last week. Atleast I don't think it was every day...but it was pretty darn close! She loves that I call her to chat while I am driving homefrom work! Because I never call her about nothing...

I did not drag my 5 month old son two and a half hour away from home to attend a baby shower and see a friend. He did so well, that he promptly spewed his entire bottle on a random guest of said shower whilst I was trying to get food. Oh yea and I certainly wouldn't pawn him off to a stranger to hold while I selfishly try to feed myself! Overall, well worth the trip!

I'm sure I have many other faults from the last month or so..but can't think of them. I seriously have way too many things going on to remember everything!

He's a mover!!

2009-08-07T08:36:00.002-05:00

So I had every intention of posting som epics this morning, but I forgot to bring the connector cord to work with me to download the pics I want to post!

So let me just tellyou what they are all about!

We put Charles to bed sometime between 8 and 9pm everynight. And he is a tummy sleeper and we put him length wise in the crib. MOST nights he sleeps all the way through (Thursday night he was up 2 times). So last night it was businsess as usual...and he slept all night. I heard him through the monitor at 6 am so I went in to get him, and what did I find? Charles is 1) on his back and 2) turned 90 degrees so his feet are pointing to the side of the crib! Mind you he NEVER rolls over if you are paying attention to him!! But it seems every morning he wakes up and rolls over before letting us know he is awake!

Tomorrow Charles and I are going on our first 'Road Trip'! We are heading to Peoria for my running partner's baby shower (obviously we haven't been running together lately!) and also going to visit my BFF nad college roommate! I am looking forward to a great time with her, even though it won't be our usual 'routine' visit!!
I am both anxious and excited! I haven't traveled that far or driven that long with him so I hope he does ok. I am trying to schedule our drive in between bottles and during times he would normally be sleeping. And in my head right now I am thinking of ALL the things I need to pack for the day...you know, just in case somehting happens!!

Getting big!!

2009-07-28T20:45:00.004-05:00

Charlie marked his four month birthday...two weeks ago!!! We went for his checkup, complete with shots. He weighed in at 15 lbs 10 oz, 24 in. he is growing like a weed!!

We were also able to start some cereal. He didn't do so well the first couple days so we stopped. I was sure he wasn't ready and that confirmed it. The cereal cam back out of the mouth and he didn't acknowledge the spoon. So we have been trying intermittently since then and I think he finally got it tonight!! I also switched from rice to whole wheat cereal. I think that made a difference. I can't wait for him to taste other foods and see his reaction!!
Charlie also discovered his hands! They go in his mouth every chance he gets...I am so proud of him for that! ;) I have been waiting for him to start using his hands. He is trying but isn't quite grasping anything yet. If gets anything between his hands he pushes it right to his mouth...which leads me to think maybe, just maybe he might be teething. We also have had bouts of inconsolable screaming...I stuck my finger in his mouth and he bit down which made him scream even more. Poor thing. The Dr said the bottom two are right there but it could still be months before they push through...so it's just wait and see and comfort him as much as possible.

One more big thing is his head control! Charlie has always been able to pick his head up and has held it up pretty well for quite some time. But he is really getting some great control! We have been putting him in his new exersaucer for a few weeks and he doesn't bang his face anymore! lol!

The mornings with Charlie are the BEST!! He wakes up Happy (not sure where he got that from!) and smiley and talks your ear off! I love it sooo much! ANd am usually sad to leave if he gets up before I go to work...but weekends, man I love it!! He has lately gotten giggly and smiley and so very talkative! I LOVE LOVE it!!

Please help me Pray

2009-07-27T14:08:00.002-05:00

I am a regular reader of My Charming Kids. MckMama has a nine month old son that was born witha heart defect...they were told that he would not even make it through the pregnancy. A miracle was granted and he came through strong and was thriving (with a few setbacks here and there). However this weekend, his poor little heart began malfunctioning again and the Drs have not been able to get his heart to return to normal.

Please help me pray for Stellan and his family, that he may pull htorugh this again and grow enough to get surgery that he needs to sustain his life.

Random

2009-07-12T21:51:00.005-05:00

Nothing exciting going on around here these days...just life!

Last week we got Charlie's 3 month pictures done and also some family pictures:

You can see pictures of my entire family (sisters and their kids and husbands) here.

And here is the long awaited picture of Charlie's room. It turned out really cute! I didn't go crazy with all the accessories for the theme but got just enough to make it interesting. He is never really in there except for sleeping and diaper changes. But he does like to look at the wall when I am changing him as the border is right at his eye level.

This is Charlie's cousin Joey. They both just love each other! Joey and his brother Ben are anxious for Charlie to get bigger so he can play with them. Ben asks me a lot if Charlie has played with certain toys, and both ask when he will do things like walk or talk.

Today we went to visit with one of my old neighbors. We ran the board while we both lived in the condo building. She just loved seeing Charlie and getting a baby fix and I really enjoyed catching up with her and letting her be 'grandma' to Charlie for a little while!! She recently became a grandma as well.

Charlie goes for his 4 month appointment and shots this week...I am taking off work (kinda) to go to his appointment this time. It's kind of a big one as we will discuss when to start solid foods! I am excited for him to meet this milestone, but also don't feel that he is ready. So we'll see what the Dr. says. We may just play it safe and wait till next month when he goes for a follow up with the NICU clinic. (Denise if you are reading its Aug 26).

Speaking of work..I think this past week was the hardest so far for me. I work in accounting and with that there is an expectation of overtime during the month end close process. I am still trying to balance being a mom and a professional. I have a hard time not seeing Charlie at least for an hour each day. Monday I didn't see him at all. I just have to remember a few things:1) I cant EVER be there for everything 2) Its only a day here and there that I will miss 3) I am still his momma and he will still know who I am after a day and will still love me!

That's about all that is going on around here..unfortunately real life is BORING!! :)

The Clone!

2009-07-06T13:09:00.002-05:00

W stopped by his Mom's last night and came home with this:

Its W at 8 month (or so).

And this is Charlie at 3.5 mos.

So I was just the incubator that carried W's clone!! Lol!!

Who's out there?

2009-07-01T09:38:00.001-05:00

Just wondering who has been reading my blog!! I know of a few...so if you are reading this, leave me a comment!! (all you have to do is say Hi and leave your name!)

Not Me!

2009-06-29T15:29:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week

It's been a couple weeks since I did this post..so here we go again!!

I did not take my baby out on THE hottest day of the year (so far) just to show him off to some of our nurses at the hospital..nope, we stay in when its cool!! Good thing he slept the whole way
there!

Last week I had the week off to take care of the baby and I did not wish every morning, after sleeping for 11 hours straight, that he would sleep just a little bit longer!

And I never get on and update my blog at work!!! Ha! I am super productive each and everyday that I am here! Including right now at this very moment...er, maybe I am taking a small break.

While watching my nephews last night, I didn't put cartoons on for their entertainment while I tended to the baby! Nope! Honestly they don't have cable at home so they love coming to my house to watch cartoons!

I di not push and push and push W until he got ALL of our stuff moved, essentially by himself, in one weekend, just so that I could live in our new house! We didn't pay rent before and had all the time in the world to wait...but I needed it done ASAP!!

I did not leave my son with my sister yet again...this time for a full day and two more days to follow..I mean after all, I haven't been spontaneously watching her kids for the last seven years!! Love those boys!

And lastly, I did not return to work having a full week off only to call the insurance agent to get a new policy for W's car and spend 1/2 hour on the phone! I absolutely could not do that at home, during my time off..

Ok I must go now as I already got caught posting this 'Not Me'!!

The past couple days...

2009-06-24T10:59:00.007-05:00

Charlie and I have been hanging out and making due without Daddy :(. But we've been having some fun too!

We apparently have an abundance of wildlife around our new house!! I noticed this little chipmunk guarding our front lawn yesterday:

I tried to get a pic of him outside (this was through the window) but as soon as I opened the door he ran. I noticed a few babies frolicking int eh backyard this morning

I also inherited some rose bushes from the previous home owner. Thesee flowers are from my backyard:

Aren't they gorgeous? You can see another picture of one of my flowers here

This little guy and his mommy came to visit us on Monday:

Our visits always go way too fast, but we always have a lot of fun!

And these two little guys, Bud (in blue) and Sonny came with their Momma yesterday:

Bud even took a little nap in Charlie's bouncy seat!

I met their momma while we were both 'trapped' in RMH for 30+ days. Diane, in the testing room, would always bring us tot he testing room together so we could chat and get some social interaction in. We have kept in touch and her boys are just darling! We are both so thankful that we ended up with healthy babies after going into pre-term labor at 27 weeks.

We also headed up to the hospital yesterday to see some of the nurses and staff that took care of us! They were all happy to see the outcome of the care the provided. They said they don't usually get to see the babies once they have gone home. We also stopped by the NICU. Iw as able to see Denise and Charlie was all smiles and giggles for her. Too bad I am not so good with getting my camera out and didn't snap a single picture! (although I am sure Denise is thanking me for that!)

Lets not forget a few pics of the little man.

We were supposed to go to Lake Summerset today, but Charles has had a busy couple days and it caught up with him today so we are resting. Tomorrow Our new couches come. Woo-Hoo!! So maybe Friday if Charles is feeling better we might make another attempt to go out to Lake Summerset.

3 Months!

2009-06-19T10:33:00.003-05:00

(a few Days Late)
I can't believe it's been three months already!!! He is getting so big and interactive more and more everyday. He even moves a bit...when we put him on a blanket or in his crib, we sometimes find him in another corner or turned the other way. He is generally fussy in the evenings, but I usually still get a few good smiles!!

Here are some pictures from this week:

Cranky pants...this is how he is off and on in the evenings.
Daddy took this one of him smiling for me...

Having a chat with Dad...

Waking up from a nap on the floor...

We are all moved in now and just have the small things to put away.

Charlie is doing great in his own room (hopefully I can get some pics up early next week of his room)!! He has gone back to sleeping through the night again, which is so awesome for me. And he is up to taking 6.5 oz bottles every 3hrs during the day.

W is loving all the new room we have too. He got his xbox all set up and has his own little area in what should be a formal dining room. (His stuff will move downstairs when the basement is finished next year). We also got a new king sized bed...lots of room for both of us! He even got handy this week and fixed the master shower (it had two settings, HOT and COLD!). I have to get the dryer looked at though...it seems to be 'melting' any synthetic material (like quilt batting) and it affected charlie's quilt that was hand-made by his grandma.

We ordered a new couch this week too..that should be in within a week or two. So with that I think (and hope!) that we are done spending money for awhile!!

Next week W is heading up to go fishing with is Dad and I have the week off work..I am looking forward to a week of bonding with Charlie and hanging out with some friends! One of the Moms I met while I was hospitalized is bringing her twin boys out to see us on Tuesday. I am so very excited to meet them and see their momma again! A former neighbor may also be coming to visit...and ofcourse some family time is in order: Sister, Cousin-in-law... fun times ahead next week. There will definitely be a few updates next week, with pictures!

Moving In!

2009-06-12T15:11:00.002-05:00

The move has finally begun!!! Woo-Hoo!!

The carpet installation was completed last night around 7pm...W came home and immediately left again to go get what he could out of the storage unit. He was able to move abou 85% of it by himself and was home by midnight. He is working on the rest of it this afternoon and getting a friend to help with our bigger items that are at MIL's house. That's not home any more :)

I am so excited to be sleeping in OUR new home this weekend!!!

Tomorrow I get the pleasure of shopping for all those basics/necessities/staples that we will need. My plan is to go early, crack of dawn early, so as not to run into crowds. I am thinking I may need two carts...but we'll see. It will be hard to push two carts by myself and I know W won't want to go. He is very deserving of some much needed rest.

A whole lot of awesome-ness!

2009-06-10T22:03:00.003-05:00

I tried two new things tonight:
1) I switched out C's bottle nipples for 'Level 2s'. Lately it seemed that he was working harder to get his food and wasting more energy. Result: 7oz in 20 minutes!! (6oz of water and 3 scoops of formula=7oz) AND (the bonus) not a single spit up!! I don't know that we will continue to give him 7oz on a regular basis, but I think we might up his usual 5 to 5.5 or 6?

2) After said bottle, it was time for bed. We started the usual routine of laying on my chest and rocking/patting. I think he got to sleep, but when I got up to put him to bed he woke up. WIDE awake it seemed. I put him in anyway. Result: C puts himself to sleep!! He pushed up into a half push-up like when he does tummy time and I patted his back a few times, but he wasn't fussing so I walked away (I had new nipples to wash!). Through the monitor, I heard a couple peeps, but no cries and by the time I was done with bottles, he was OUT!! I usually have to rock/pat him for an hour, sometimes two. LOVE it!

I am hoping the combo of the two items above results in some awesomeness we had up until this last weekend: sleep till morning! The last few nights he has been getting hungry and waking at 3am. Does not bode well for a mommy who tries (most mornings unsuccessfully) to get up at 5:30 am! Although, I do love the smiles we get at 3am (even if he is supposed to still be sleeping!)

Oh and I got on the scale at home with the little guy. Result: 13.2lbs!! He is still small for his 'actual' age, but so much bigger than where he started. His little legs are getting chubs!!

Well I better get to bed to take advantage of his sleep time..I am wiped!

Photo Update

2009-06-09T18:47:00.002-05:00

Some new phots of the little man...and he is getting BIG!! He is smiling and 'tlking' more every day...too bad I miss most of it because he is the most smiley in the mornings.

I tried to get some smiles...this is the best I got: Here he is just looking so darn cute!
This is his FAVORITE spot...laying on the floor. Which is actually where he is right this very moment. I can hear him cooing to hi favorite toy: a fish with a mirror in it (featured in this post)
And finally, a classic. Post-bath.

The best...

2009-06-04T10:17:00.002-05:00

I had a rough day at work yesterday..cried my eyes out on the way home (I have an hour!) but what made it all better: W gave Charlie to me to finish his feeding when I got there and before I gave him the bottle I got some huge smiles!! He was happy to see his momma after a long day! It made everything else disappear!

I LOVE him!

Not Me Monday!

2009-06-01T15:00:00.003-05:00

I thought I might like to start participating in this fun weekly confessional! I may not participate every week..but here goes for this week:

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not dump my 11 week old baby with my sister all day yesterday so that I could paint my new house. Nope..not me. I love my baby and want to spend as much time with him as I can and never ever get tired of him! Honestly, I am not sure how SAHMs do it.

I did not give my FIL a hard time yesterday while painting said house...after all he is 60 and not as mobile, but if he is going to help, get it done!

I did not leave my hair dryer in the gym locker room on Thursday. I can not live without my hairdryers (yes I have 2) and do not leave my things laying around. I always have my head on straight and would not forget something as important as my hairdryer. Nope, not me!

I did not allow my BF to use the credit card to spend money like it grows on trees to buy everything we needed to finish painting the house this weekend. Nope, we are very conscientious of our funds and what we can afford. We would never over extend ourselves to have a nice house just to pay for it later!

I did not take my baby back out to the house last night at 9pm just to show it off to MIL. I would never delay putting him to bed at bedtime to brag about my big beautiful new home to anyone who wants to see it!

I did not eat Burger King and pizza in one day after complaining for weeks that I need to lose this baby weight and get my body back. Nope, I am working out every day and eating healthy to lose the last 8lbs.

Ok, that is all I can come up with for naughtiness this last week. Maybe there will be a post next week..maybe not. We'll see...

We have smiles!

2009-05-31T10:20:00.003-05:00

Charlie has been smiling more and more these days..especially in the mornign. Of course I never have my camera ready, but did today! err..I went and got it!

WhenI first asked him to smile for the camers, he just stuck his tongue out at me!

Then he faked it once!

But then we got a good one!!! LOVE IT!!

Success!

2009-05-29T14:06:00.002-05:00

We have the house! It took only 20 minutes to go through all the closing documents and sign them..as we were driving away it felt so surreal, as if someone were going to stop us and tell us it didn't go through or something bad. Everything just went so smooth that it seems too good to be true!

W now has his work cut out for him..he is painting EVERY room (walls and ceiling) over the next few days! We purchase 13 gallons of paint last night! I will have to stop by at some point this weekend to get pics of him painting. I am not allowed to stay long though...W doesn't want the baby around the paint 'fumes'! It's not like we are using lead based or asbestos! really he will be fine there for a few minutes! W is soooo protective of little C!

Also bonus to us...the carpet isn't in yet! Why is this a bonus? duh...no worries about dripping paint! So as soon as the paint is dry and the carpet is in...we will be moved! Hopefully within a week or so...

Big Changes are Coming!!

2009-05-27T14:05:00.002-05:00

Only two more days till W and I own a home together!! I am so excited to have my own place again! This past week MIL has been on vacation in Kansas so have had a trial run, if you will, of it being just us. And let me tell you...I LOVE IT!! I miss having the freedom of moving around my house as I will and being able to walk around naked (ok I don't really do that!), cook whatever I want.. and not worry about messing with someone else's home. MIL may say I had the freedom, but I, myself, did not. I just don't take those kind of liberties in someone else's home because I know how I would be if someone were staying with me. And really it's HER house...I am very grateful to her for letting me stay there and everything she has done for us over the past 7 months! She will be glad to have her house back as well!

So we close on Friday...I think we might be going to get the paint tonight to paint EVERY room!! W will be doing all of that too since I will have the baby. I may have my sister watch the baby for a few hours on Sunday so I can help a little bit! (And because I can't relinquish 100% control over how/when things get done!) Hopefully he can work fast and get the whole house done in a week..but he is limited as to when he can work on the house because I still have to work so he will have Charlie all day. We also have new carpet for every room coming...courtesy of the seller! (It was part of the contract!!!) I am hoping to be moved in in two weeks, no later. I think we can get enough done to move in by then (we have a wedding next weekend so that slows things down a bit...).

This also means Charlie gets his own room!! YAY! Right now he sleeps at the foot of the bed in his crib. And I hear every noise he makes...so it will be nice for him to be in his own room. And good for him too!! Hopefully he transitions well! We already bought a monitor so I may still hear everything but I am happy for him to be in his own room!

Charlie is now 'sleeping through the night'!! At least by the medical definition...The routine has become for him to take a bottle between 8 and 9pm, go to bed, wake up for one bottle around 3, go back to bed, wake up for the day around 7. He still eats every three hours and today he wants to eat every two..growth spurt maybe?!?!

Oh, and no, I never posted where he falls in the percentile ranges for his height and weight because according to the charts, he is in the 10th percentile. BUT those charts are for full term, average babies. He was a preemie. So really...I have no idea where he falls! And W can't remember what the Dr said. All we know and care about is that he is growing! And as long as he keeps growing, all is good!

New Stats!!

2009-05-19T09:56:00.003-05:00

Charlie just got back from his two month well-baby check..and shots!! (no I couldn't take him...one of the sad things about me working, Daddy gets to take him to the Dr.)

W said he only cried because his legs got held down! The actual shots themselves didn't bother him, and he was passed out cold immediately after! W is still going to give him tylenol throughout the day to counteract any possible side effects.

So the new measurements are: weight 11lbs 5oz; length 21 1/2 in. (I will update later with where he falls in the percentile range)

Overall the Dr said he is doing great! And that he is a perfect baby!! (of course he is, lol!) No issues or concerns with him as long as he keeps eating and growing!

Speaking of eating...Charlie is trying to be a big boy and eat 6ozs every now and then! Sounds great, but it really is too much for him as he tends to throw up a bit later (not just spit up). We try to just let him eat what he wants..no force feeding. And he usually tells us when he is done (he gets tight lipped and won't take the bottle!) But if he takes it or wants it, we let him have it. I am thinking we might have to control that a bit more going forward. Or maybe he will eat more less often!?!? He is getting so big and already going longer between bottles at night..

RELAX!!

2009-05-18T09:51:00.003-05:00

So last week returning to work brought on a whole new set of emotions...the biggest one being jealousy! I talked at length with my sister and W's cousin's wife about it. Here's what it comes down to: I want to be with my baby and I get very possessive of him when people feel that they are entitled to him. Don't get me wrong, I want to share him, but I hate that they get 'special' time with him or take advantage of me not being around. I also felt like I didn't get as much time with him as I should have at home...You are probably thinking , 'You got 8 weeks'. However...I was cooped up in a hospital for 5 weeks before I had him and when I got out, I couldn't sit at home, so we went places. Usually it was other people's homes. And those people of course want to hold him...but when we get home I put him in his crib so all his holding time was with others.

I recognize that I am being a bit irrational and extreme because I know in my head that I had more than plenty of time with him and will have plenty of time with him in the future. Funny thing is, I am not jealous AT ALL of W...and he has him the most now! I love that he gets that kind of time with his son bc most Dads don't.

So anyway, this week, I am trying to relax. And not get jealous! And realize that they just love him too. And they will NOT replace me.

Photo Update

2009-05-13T19:46:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted any pictures in awhile, so here some from the last few weeks:

Sleeping is what he does best...especially on Daddy!
Playing on the floor with his new toys...He loves the baby in the mirror!

Eight weeks old! (I forgot to take the picture until I was swaddling him for bed!)

And getting so big in his chair!

Back at work..

2009-05-12T12:47:00.003-05:00

Today is my second day back at work..a tad bit more productive than the first! LOL!!

Charlie is safe at home with his daddy..and I didn't even cry on my way to work! I knew he was in good hands....

I did get my promotion, however the increase is not what it should have been. And I have good solid evidence that they are under paying me: my ocunterpart that is making $10k more and DOES NOT have the MBA or CPA that I have..hmm, something wrong with this picture???? I addressed it with my boss and he is now looking into the other supervisor's salary and job description to make me comparable. I told him that I do not have to be equal, but I need to be treated fairly. They can't give one employee a 20% increase and then tell me that HR only allows 10%. Not ok...
I got a new boss too...he appears to be about my same age but is two positions above where I am...but he comes from public accounting and they learna nd progress much faster in that environment. I am happy where I am...those public accountants have no free time the first ten years of their career.

Well that's it for now..seeing as I am at work, I should probably work!

What?? Can you repeat that??

2009-05-06T17:06:00.002-05:00

My realtor called few hours ago to give me an update on the submitted contract. This what she says, "well, the contract was approved as-is"

Hold on...WHAT?? Yeah, the contract was approved AS-IS!! The owner acepted our FIRST offer. He DIDN'T counter!! (helped that he lives in CA nad is selling his mother's old house...he didn't care, just wanted it off his hands)

WE HAVE A HOUSE!!!

So now I am working on selecting the carpet for the house...that has to go in immediately for the loan to go through (by the way the seller is paying for it, but I get what I want!)

We close in 3 weeks! Woo hoo!!! And hopefully we'll be in the house within a few weeks after that..we (and I mean I) have (want) to paint every wall.

Woo-hoo!!

2009-05-05T09:11:00.002-05:00

Lots of things happening right now!! (sorry this post is not about the little man!)

W and I are putting an offer on a house today! It's a great house for the money, we just have to do a few minor things. Like put some type of flooring down (the entire first floor is sub-flooring). You can see it here (there is carpet in the pics, but it's gone now)
I head back to work next week. Very sad for me BUT I just got off the phone with one of my bosses and my PROMOTION is getting finalized this week, as in before I get back!!! I have been waiting (and talking about it) for the last year!
I will also have a new boss next week as well. My current boss is tranistioning into a new role and they have already filled his spot. I am not a fan of change, especially when I have sucha great relationship with my current bosses, but I hear he is smart and has personality (something hard to find in the accounting world)

So keep your fingers crossed that the offer goes through...if it doesn't, we are back to looking at more houses. I am sooooo very excited to have my own place again! I am grateful for the generosity of MIL, but W and I need to be a family with Itty Bitty in our own place.

LOL!

2009-05-01T23:04:00.002-05:00

So W and I were talking tonight (as if we don't alk everyday...ha!) but we have this ongoing battle of what to call our little man. I (and just about everyone else) call him Charlie, but he is adamant that his name is Charles and wil not call him Charlie.

Then he goes on to tell me...I left my blog up one day in the middle of writing a post and supposedly he went in and changed Charlie to Charles..I have no idea what post though!

He is too funny!

Ok, maybe only I find it funny..but I thought it was cute that he changed my post so that it said Charles!

It's late..I need to go to bed!

Growth!

2009-05-01T09:52:00.006-05:00

Check out how much my little man has grown since we brought him home!

(you can't really tell but that is also the same outfit!)

And Charlie 'played' with his cousin Lincoln who is 6 months old...

Not much else to report (can you tell I've relaxed some!?!? no more frantic posts!) Charlie is still doing really great! He sleeps well in his bed at night and we are working on naps during the day still. And he eats 3.5-4oz every three hours consistently...

See..it's normal, boring baby stuff!

How about a little about me!??! What, you only want to hear about Charlie? Too bad!

I went for my 6 week follow up appointment the other day...I am now resume life as a 'normal' person. No more restrictions! No more bed rest! And I don't have to go back for a year! Yay! Unfortunately that also means I have to go back to work soon :( only one more full week off...I started working out last week, mostly walking but added a bit of jogging Wednesday. I am still sore (not the beely though..the legs!). But I hope to be able to continue adding and get back up to my distance and pace within the next month or so. I am wanting to run a half marathon this fall and really get back in the swing of things.

The one thing the Dr and I didn't tlak about was future pregnancies. I do know that I will be considered high-risk from the moment I get pregnant though. She briefly mentioned at the last appointment that pre-term labor would start earlier in the next pregnancy. That is slightly devastating to me because 27 weeks was too early and I can't imagine being on bedrest or int he hospital longer. Not to mention that the baby would likely come earlier..and also I will have a toddler at home next time! There are some things that I will do differently right off the bat though, like not working overtime, possibly even working only part time in the office and making sure I get lots of rest. Obviously this is all pretty far off in the future..but I like to plan and be prepared!

Child of God

2009-04-26T20:30:00.004-05:00

Charlie was Baptized today!

Here is about to get sprinkled...

This is our little family, our first picture of all of us together!

And with his godparents (W's friend Ryan and my sister)

And here are some pics of Charlie just being cute and snuggling with mom!

sweet baby

2009-04-25T21:39:00.003-05:00

I know it is still too early for Charlie to get on a sleep schedule and to 'train' him to take naps and sleep through the night...but seriously he hadn't really been sleeping in his bed during the day, and if he did it was only for maybe 25 minutes. Mom and Dad think he is so very precious that we hold and cuddle him! (and I don't like to listen to him fuss, so I end up picking him up!...I know, I know, we are wrapped around his little finger!)

Anyway...So today after his 2pm bottle, I swaddled him and put him in his bed for naptime. this is what I got for over two hours! I actually had to wake him for a bottle...

Doesn't he just look so peaceful!? even with the kinked neck!?!? He was out cold! I even had to check him a few times to be sure he was still breathing! He is out like this again for bedtime (since 8pm) and I am hoping it goes for a few more hours...I am not waking him at night for feedings (not that we ever had to) and last night he went two stretches of over 4 hours.

OH and...we had lots of poops today! (I know you just wanted to know that!) He certainly made up for the last 2.5 day sof nothing..I think I changed 5 or 6 dirty diapers. Not fun and very stinky!

Due Date!

2009-04-24T12:43:00.003-05:00

Today is Charlie's official due date! He is now considered 'born'..after six weeks!!

He is getting so so big! I've been looking back at some pictures from the first few weeks and how he snuggled right int he crook of my arm and now his head barely fits there! He definitely would have been quite the big boy if we had gone to term.

You might like to know that Charlie is also eating tremendously well these days! I really did let myself relax after our follow up appt. and he now only has about 1 feeding per day that he only eats a little bit. For a few days, this feeding was in the middle of the night and then he would go back to sleep. I was hoping that was a sign he would start sleeping longer (ideally through the night)! We do not wake him for his feedings, he wakes himself so it is really up to him to start sleeping longer and going longer in between meals. He still isn't pooping everyday, but hopefully that will come soon.

Here are some recent pics (I realized yesterday that I have about 1,000 from his first week and about 10 from the last two!):

NICU-Neonatal Follow up clinic

2009-04-21T16:45:00.003-05:00

Today we had a follow up appointment with the Neonatal Clinic at the hospital. The clinic tracks all NICU 'graduates' after discharge to ensure proper development based on actual age and adjusted age. Adjusted age is the age Charlie would be if he were born on his due date. Today he is -3 days old..as W likes to say, he isn't even born yet!

The appointment was VERY helpful to me. We met with a nurse practioner and a dietician. Without even asking us, she voiced and eased EVERY concern that I have had over the last four weeks of Charlie being home!! She obviously sees many many parents that have the same worries and must see patterns. Although it makes me wonder...if ALL the parents coming out of NICU have the same fears and same tendencies that are probably hammered into us by the nurses, shouldn't they change their approach? Or give us a bit more guidance from the beginning??

So here's what I learned:
- Feedings: They last only 30 minutes. No longer. If he eats it faster that's great, but any longer than that and we run into a 'snacking' cycle. And he has to wait 2.5 to 3 hours before getting more food. It takes about 2 hours for all the food to get out of his stomach so if we start any earlier than 2.5 hours, he really isn't hungry enough to eat a full bottle. And it was suggested that we make a pitcher of formula instead of one bottle at a time to 1)minimize the air that is added to the mixture during shaking or stirring (it will settle eventually) and 2) to enable us to give him more or less than the instructed ratios (scoops of powder to ozs of water).

-Pooping: It's ok for him to go up to 4 days without having a dirty diaper! That's a long time!! We are going on another 24 hours of no poops, so I am scared to see what it's going to be like...but we don't have to worry.

-Sleeping: when he gets drowsy he is supposed to go in hs bed so he gets used to putting himself to sleep in bed..not on us! This does not mean though that we shouldn't snuggle, hold and cuddle him! However, it will still be a few weeks before we can start letting him sleep through the night. Now we start at the newborn milestones/guidelines...as if he was just coming home with us today.

Now for his stats!! He weighs 8lbs 4oz without a diaper! This puts him in the 5oth percentile; length is 20 3/4, 75th percentile and head is 34.8cm, 25th percentile. he is going to be tall and skinny!!

The dietician also told us that the standard weight gain is 15-30 grams per day...Charlie is averaging 51.1 grams per day! They were impressed and we no longer have to use the extra calorie formula.

The NP also did alot of movement and reflex tests. He is very strong and is doing more than what they expected; For instance, if you stand him up he will bare weight on his legs and hold it for a few secs before collapsing.

Overall..they just kept saying he looks great!! And he does! He is thriving and growing as if he was a full term baby! And I feel TONS better about everything. I am going to try really, really hard to not worry so very much!

FYI

2009-04-21T00:07:00.002-05:00

To my followers that have tried to post comments...I have changed the settings so anonymous (non-blogger) users may now post! Please just sign your name to any anonymous postings..

love to hear from you!

Realization

2009-04-20T22:40:00.003-05:00

So I finally got a clue as to why Charlie was having such a hard time with eating the last couple days.. Can we say MAJOR poop issues!!

I headed up to my mom's today around 10 am to parade him around some of her 'customers' (she is a mail carrier) worrying a bit (yes, again!) about my poor little man because he hadn't pooped in over 24 hours...and he would only take about 2oz before getting really really agitated. We got back to her house around 12:30. She was holding him and said 'I think he actually pooped' well I wasn't too excited (yes, excited over poop!) because he also has had some really nasty smelling gas. She wasn't wrong this time! Upon opening his diaper I found it FULL of this thick mud consistency green poop. Called mom into the room to see and immediatly she says that is from the iron in the formula...obviously much higher than in breastmilk. Also after this he sucked down 3oz..no agitation, drools, breaks in 10 minutes!! Go baby!! But he wasn't done! He filled another diaper and then sucked down another 1.5 oz! Finally!

It may be a few days before his little body gets acclimated to the higher iron and nutrients in formula, but atleast I know he does eat! And I am more comfortable with the 'why' he slowed down. Hard to explain, but I feel better knowing there is a tangible cause as opposed to him just not wanting to eat.

We haven't had any more poops yet the rest of the day, but hoping for one tonight. He is eating better though...closer to three ounces each time. Awesome baby!

Getting big...

2009-04-19T17:34:00.004-05:00

Charlie had a check up on Friday (sorry I'm a bit slow to post!) and he now weighs 8lbs 2oz!!! He gained over a pound and half in a week and a half! Amazing...and I was worried about his eating!

Actually, I still am a little bit. He is not very consistent..2ozs at one feeding 3 at another...sometimes 4. Sometimes every two sometimes every three hours. No pattern what-so ever.

I am completely done pumping now too. We have half a bottle left of breast milk but otherwise he is 100% on formula. I also switched from the preemie stuff (a higher calorie version) to the regular stuff and using a gentle formula for his gas. Not sure if it's helping or not. I tried the gas drops, but he seemed to spit up more.

As long as he is eating something, I'll try not to worry too much.

Also, some non-baby news. We started looking for a house this week! There is a lot out there...I found a couple I like, now just to convince W. Wish me luck on that, he is VERY picky!

What a difference...

2009-04-16T16:49:00.002-05:00

...a day makes!!

Charles is definitely doing better today. I'm not sure why, but I'm pretty sure his tummy was upset. We've had lots of dirty diapers today ompared to maybe 2 yesterday. And he is eating tons better! Still slow, but eating more. He just ate 3 1/2 ounces for me. Also I can really see it in his face. He just looks happier to me today! (W thinks I'm crazy!)

So I probably got worried for nothing...Again! We are just so anxious for him to gain wseight and be 'normal'. And of course the NICU nurses like to scare you into making sure they eat by telling you the scary consequences if they don't

Really I just need to relax a bit..he is doing GREAT!

Regression?

2009-04-15T20:43:00.002-05:00

Charlie has not been eating so good the last couple days. He still wakes every threee hours (on the dot!) to eat and seems very hungry but then only takes about 2 ounces and its a struggle to get that. He was up to taking three easy and fast...sometimes closer to four. He also gets really agitated as soon as the bottle goes in his mouth. He seems to be very gassy and I am not sure what we can change to help that. I think part of the problem maybe that we are transitioning from breast milk to formula (I just don't make enough so I am 'weaning' off the pump). He has always been getting formula, but usually only one full one a day. Now he is getting more like one breastmilk bottle a day.

I sure hope we are not back where we were in the NICU..but it sure feels like it. I hate seeing him not eat and it makes me extremely nervous. Of cousre my stress doesn't help him at all.

Fortunately we already have an appointment scheduled for Friday so we will definitely be talking to her about it. Really I am hoping he resolves the issue on his own and we don't have to talk to her about it! He'll get hungry enough, right?

Photo Update

2009-04-11T20:44:00.002-05:00

Here's my little man getting so big!!

He really puts his arms like this on his own...I almost always find him in some weird position sleeping. And when he wakes up, he kicks off all of his blankets, even the one swaddling him tight!

Hello beautiful!! He is awake more and more each day..sometimes at night which I then have to convince him its not the right time to be awake!

Grandpa and Marcia sent him this Easter bunny...it's bigger than him!

The FEAR of God

2009-04-07T21:50:00.003-05:00

Yep, I had the fear of God put into me. The whole MRSA thing really threw me for a loop. I could have dealt any run of the mill infection, but MRSA scares the living sh*t out of me! Well, turns out there is NOTHING that can be done to stop, or prevent anyone (including Charlie) from getting this new super bug MRSA.

We went for our follow up today after getting the MRSA diagnosis...His spots are gone and the Med student and the Dr both confirmed that the Bactrim Charlie is on will take care of the MRSA. I still really really like the NP, but she really did put the fear of god in me! Dr P told us we should do 'normal' things...So we are out of the self imposed 'quarantine' :). I have already been out to my sister's, FIL's and tomorrow we are going to see a good friend! This does not mean, however, that we will be going to malls, restaurants, stores, etc. We don't want to get carried away in other germ infested places!!

Oh and I freely admit that I may have over reacted. It has just been a hard road to get Charlie to the point he is now..through a tough pregnancy, a NICU stay, and trouble eating...I just don't want to take any chances. I have never been and hopefully never will be a germ-phobe. In fact I fully believe that exposing a child to germs helps build immunities, BUT..we don't need to expose a 'weak' vulnerable teeny tiny baby to these things just yet. A few more pounds and we'll be good.

Speaking of a few more pounds: Charlie got weighed today!! 6lbs 8ozs!! He is up 10oz from last week!! And up to eating 65ml per feeding (he ate 43 when we came home two weeks ago)!! He'll be big before we know it!