It Defines me

So I think everyone has something in their life that 'defines' them. Whether it be an activity (i.e. a runner), an event, a catastrophe, something, anything really. And this is the thing that someone will know about with in a short time of meeting you. It's something you have to share.

I have come to the realization of what defines me. That one thing that I have to share about. I kind of realized this a couple months when I reconnected with an old friend and it was one of the first things I told her. And then again this past week when I started group half-marathon training and have been meeting alot of new people.

So what is it you ask!??! It's my pregnancies. Upon meeting me, you will know within an hour/day/first or second meeting that I went into labor at 27 weeks and that my babies were born early. And the sooner the kids get brought the sooner you will know about this. I am fully aware that I am not the first nor that last that has ever been pregnant or had babies. Nor am I the first, last or only person to ever have complications. But the things that happened, happened to ME. And for ME it was fairly traumatic.

I wish I wasn't but I am envious of those that sail through pregnancies without a care or concern, taking the natural occurrence of pregnancy for granted. I was there at one point...before 27 weeks with Charles. After that..well, pregnancy for me is an emotional roller coaster.

But I do think that I have a greater appreciation for my kids and the miracles that they are. That is NOT to say that the momma who has an easy pregnancy doesn't love her kids or appreciate them...I just have a different level of it. For example, I have an associate that works for me right now. She is pregnant, due in late spring. Nothing is a big deal to her. In fact she is already talking about going on vacation for 5 days in September. I know there is no way I could have done that.

Should I still be this profoundly affected by the things that happened to me? I don't know...I know that I am though. In fact, I actually try to hide it. (It doesn't work). I try to find other things about me that are just as interesting. Like that I am a runner and I have run 3 marathons, I am an accounting manager, I like to read, I have an MBA and a CPA, I like to bake when I have time, but I don't like to cook as much, etc. etc. But it always comes back to my pregnancies, birth stories and resulting prematurity of my boys.

It has begun

I started (officially) half marathon training last night! I signed up/joined an organized training program that meets on Tuesdays and Saturdays (the rest of the week I am on my own). Our first run last night consisted of a mile out, 3 hill repeats, run some more and then run back for a total of about 30 minutes. Saturdays will be a long rung..this week about 4 miles. I think. This is the first time that I am participating in this group however I have done many others when training for the Chicago marathon. It appears they are following Hal Higdon's training plans and he is the running God.

I tried, and actually did quite well, to hang with the front of our 'pack' after realizing the back was too slow even with my 18 month break from running. There was one point that I thought I was going to die and needed to stop...but I kept going and was able to hold a conversation with the guy running next to me. After it was all said and done, I felt great and can't wait to go back on Saturday. Tonight and tomorrow will be treadmill runs. By myself. Sad.

On other news.... Blake FINALLY cut his bottom two teeth! Charlie had teeth at 6 months so I have been watching his mouth like a hawk since then. He doesn't seem to be a very good teether. Sad. He is still NOT sleeping through the night. W took care of his wakings last night so I *thought* he didn't get up..nope, he was up twice. Three times if you count waking an hour after going to bed. Sigh. I hope someday it will happen. and soon.

Charles is 95% potty trained!! Woo hoo!! He does great during the day peeing in the potty and now even likes to stand. That part has become a game to him. He even wakes up dry 90% of the time. Going #2 is a whole 'nother story. We are still struggling with this...diaper or potty. It makes me sad for him that he is having such a hard time. We started probiotics a week ago. I have not seen any improvement yet but I want to give it a month or two to really get working in his system. If that doesn't work...well, he may just have to continue to tough it out.

I have seen the 140's on the scale the past three days!!! I am hoping they are here to stay and that I can get closer to the 130's. I would not be sad to see the 130's, but that would more than exceed my goal. I started getting serious about my diet and weight loss a month ago and as of today I have lost 3.8 pounds. I have lost all of the pregnancy weight from Blake! 3-ish more pounds and I will be back to my weight from before Charles... I am not sure though that my (old) clothes will fit the same even if I get down to that weight. Pregnancy really messes with the body shape...

And Just like that...

It's so so so very easy to fall of the weight loss/working out train. And I did it. Already. Two weeks. Damn Super Bowl.

Ok, so it was only for a day...but man was a bad day! But good eating! Yummy food. But oh soo bad. I 'planned' on having some junk yesterday for the game. Because according to W, Super Bowl Sunday is a holiday and you can't have a holiday (or a good football game) with out good food! So I bought some junk..hoping the neighbors would come by...for the game. Let me tell you...It was GOOD going down. But as soon as it was down, I regretted it. Sad.

And the scale showed it this morning. Bye bye 140's. Maybe I will see you next week.

But today...Today will be a good eating day. It's far easier to control my intake at work. I bring my lunch (there isn't anywhere really close to work to conveniently go to eat) and so right there I am limited to what I eat. It works and is great. Today I have yogurt, an orange, salad w/ a boiled egg & light dressing, and a Nature Val.ley Peanut butter thin (those are really really good! and only 90 cals.).

AND...I have every intention of getting on the treadmill tonight. I am signing up for a 1/2 marathon training program that starts 2/21 so I need to do my homework so I am ready for it.

So today, we start again!

Heellllooo...

140's!!!!! Yay!! I am now back in the 140's..atleast for today. I mean, I barely broke the surface..but, Yay!!

AND..I haven't worked out since Saturday (boo!). I am not sure why, but I just couldn't find my groove this week. Over tired..cranky kids..lack of sleep..no motivation..you name it, I found any excuse I could to not work out. Good thing it didn't effect my weight loss!

Official Friday weigh-in

So after a bit of yo-yo-ing this week, my official weeight loss is a mere 1lb. But do not fear, this is perfectly on track with my goal of one pound per week.

After my last post, I thought for sure I would be looking at 1.5 lbs this week. Tator-tot casserole, no matter how small the serving, will change that for ya! Mmmm I do love some tator tot casserole though..especially taco flavored! Yum!
It would be nice to have 'Biggest Loser' like weght loss, but really I am happy with one pound.

I am getting better with consistent work outs too..Monday Tuesday and THursday of this week so far. I am hoping to get one more in tonight and then heading to the grocery store.

This weekend will be abig test to watching what I eat and still thoroughly enjoying life...lunch with former co-worker friend tomorrow and a birthday party tomorrow night. Have I told you how much I love Mexican food (lunch)? and CAKE!? um, yum! My only saving grace with cake is I don't eat icing. So am I going to eat tomorrow..yes. Am I going to go over my calories. YEP! Oh well. It's only one day...and in the past when I would have gorged myself on chips, I will just exert some self control and thus limit the damage.

I wasn't gonna do it...

I didn't want to be *that* girl...tracking and obsessing...but *sigh*, I am. I am tracking and entering my weight every day. To be fair though, it's only becausse the number keeps going DOWN!! Since Friday, 1.8 lbs. All from watching my calories and a little bit of exercise.

My plan was to input my weight on Mondays and Fridays so as to see REAL results, not just fluctuations due to water or daily food intake. Because we all know that what we eat and drink makes your weight fluctuate a little on a day to day basis. (we all do know that right?)

But alas, here I am entering weight again today. (to loseit.com, not the good ole blog!)

I wonder what my weight will be on Friday? A full week of watching how much I eat...

By the way, yes, I am hungry. Starving actually.

One day at a time

I have a hard time remembering this sometimes... whether it be training for a marathon, regaining my speed and stamina after having a baby, going through pregnancy (and getting pregnant for that matter or watchign the kids grow up. But this time it is about weightloss.

I never really had to diet..in fact I don't really believe in 'diets'. A 'diet' should be a way of life, not a short amount of time that you restrict your eating to certain foods or certain amounts. I believe in moderation and enjoying life. With that said, you could say I am embracing a new 'way of life'. I gained some lbs with those babies and it is just not coming off. And Irealized that something had to change and just can't eat the way I used to!

In total I want to lose 13lbs. My main focus right now is food and my intake. I am using www.loseit.com to track my calories. And that is all that I am tracking. So you could say that I am still eating whatever I want (we had Applebees for dinner on Friday!) but just limiting it and keeping within my calorie budget. The website allows you to enter your starting weight and goal weight and it will then tell you how many calories depending on how fast you want to lose and the day you should achieve your goal. My goal date is April 13. After three days..usually my breaking point because I get hungry!.. I am still on track!! Infact I am already seeing the results I need to see!

As I get more motivated and figure out how to get past hurdles (time, baby, motivation) I am adding in working out: running, Jillian Michaels, Chalean Extreme, Turbo Fire. Every week I say I am "Going to do this" and everyweek I FAIL! But I am getting there. Last week I worked out 3 times. A record for me since having Blake! Sad, I know, considering I used to run 4-5 days a week with no problem. Loseit.com also allows for extra calories for working out..however I won't being eating those. Mostly because I usually work out at night and I would rather not eat the extra calories if I end up not working out that day (because you know I enter everything I am going to eat that day first thing in the morning!)

BUT I have to remember that it is one day at a time. Is it April 13 yet??