When I shared my story the other day, I also linked it up to the good ol' facebook. I know that a lot of our friends did not know that we had these things going on. My post caption said something about life challenges, some worse than others. This could be taken one of two ways I suppose...1) One person's individual struggles vary in degrees or 2) a mine vs. yours comparison. My post really meant to encompass #1.
I never want to compare my struggle to yours, or vice versa. It should never be a competition. And YOUR story is just as important as mine. I had/have many friends, of varying degrees of closeness, that I know have struggled or still struggle with some sort of infertility or loss. Or maybe they are just going through a tough time in other areas of their life. YOUR story matters too.
No, I didn't get any negative comments...but I also want my friends to know that I have probably thought of them (if I knew their story) more than they know. Friends that have had loss and now have their little blessings. Friends that struggled to get their blessing. Friends that recently went through a loss. I still think of them.
I also appreciated that some friends privately shared their story with me. Sharing the pain. Relating. Early pregnancy and Miscarriage are such a private thing and despite the public posting that is facebook these days, so much is still not shared (not that you have too!). Its so hard to know who can relate to you, who has been through it to share your pain with you, who may actually NOT want to know about it.
Anyway, I guess the point of my post today is to say that I just wanted to share my story. I am not trying to say my story is worse than yours or others. I was not trying to get pity. I know that in the grand scheme of things, my struggles are small blip in comparison to other tragic events. I have been lucky enough in my life that this is the worst that has happened to me. But I know that is not the case with others.
On another note....I had follow up with my Dr yesterday. She is still amazing of course. Official final pathology diagnosis is a blighted ovum. It means a sperm and egg met, and tried to become a baby but only was able to create some pregnancy like tissue. So there wasn't any 'baby' tissue.
We will be able to try again, but I won't lie, I am not entirely happy with the plan. First, she has to confirm that my levels return to 0, via blood work. Yesterday's levels were 8, so it shouldn't be too much longer. Then, I have to wait two FULL cycles. Ugh. That seems so far away!!!!! But I don't have a choice really. My body needs to heal. My emotions need to heal. It's all one big waiting game!!!!
I am going to keep busy though and the time will go fast. First up? A YELLOW birthday party for my big boy! He is going to be 5 and yellow is his favorite color...so it will be a yellow themed party! I am very excited about it...its been quite fun trying to come up with yellow things to put out for food and drink! And the invites are asking that you wear yellow! SO fun! And a bright spot after all of this dreariness! I am looking forward to it. And I'll post some pics after the party next month!
Friday, February 14, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
The Worst Roller Coaster Ride Ever
Disclaimer: This post will may have some TMI, medical info and probably sad. Also...its loooooong.
I am not even sure where to begin with this....but the last year has pretty much sucked. Ok really, my life doesn't suck. I have two beautiful, amazingly smart, rambunctious, loving, happy boys. And a husband that (secretly) adores me. {He's not one of those guys that shows emotion, but he takes care of me and does things I wouldn't expect him to do. And never complains. Or tells me I'm failing.} So where did everything go wrong last year?? Let me start with January...
Long before W and I decided to actually have children, we had always talked about three. When I had complications with Charles, we weren't sure we would even have two. Then we had complications with Blake and the timing of his birth was going to be the deciding factor. NICU = no third baby. No NICU = We'd talk. He didn't go in the NICU! Yay! So now it came down to whether my Dr. would ok it and the timing. (W wanted to wait, I wanted them 2 years apart). I talked with my {amazing} doctor and she gave me the green light for the timing I wanted and W reluctantly agreed. The month to start: January 2013, for a fall baby. Charles and Blake were conceived fairly easily so the thought NEVER crossed my mind that we wouldn't get pregnant IN January.
But January came and went...so did February, March, April, May...etc. With each passing month I did more and more research. What can I do to help me get pregnant? I used OPKs (ovulation detectors), took my BBT (basal body temp) to confirm ovulation, tried baby aspirin, CoQ10, Iron, folic acid, mucinex...if it seemed harmless, I tried it. September was the first month I tried Mucinex (I'll spare you the details, but if you want them google mucinex and fertility) and FINALLY at the end of October, a positive pregnancy test!!!!!!!!
I was soooooooooooooo excited! I told everyone right away...coworkers, family, close friends, my hair dresser...anyone I came in contact with knew I was pregnant! {Except facebook..I didn't publicly post it there}.
A couple weeks later, I was on the phone with my sister talking about the pregnancy, and how I had told everyone, but who cares because in our family we didn't have miscarriages. We are 'fertile myrtles' and get pregnant easily and stay pregnant. I may deliver early, but getting pregnant wasn't usually a problem. The next day, a Friday, I woke to bleeding. Heavy. I knew right away what was happening. I called my doctor and she had me come in for labs. I had an ultrasound the following Tuesday and there was no evidence of being pregnant. I had been 6 weeks along.
I was devastated of course...but more so I was at peace. We had tried for so long that I was beginning to think something was wrong and that I couldn't get pregnant again. So despite the miscarriage I was happy that we could get pregnant. I just didn't want to go through the process again. It was stressful for us and our marriage.
The Dr gave us the ok to try again right away...and so we did. My cycle was longer than usual but I did ovulate and was shocked to see, 6 weeks later, ANOTHER positive pregnancy test! I think I was even more excited this time! I just knew this was going to be it. I felt so strongly about it being a good outcome, there wasn't any other possibility in my head. That same day, I called the Dr's office to get in for lab work {per her instructions}, it took some convincing of the nurse...but finally made it in. The lab work was to test for HcG, or Betas, and it tells how the pregnancy is progressing. One number alone doesn't mean much so there is always a repeat two days later. The numbers are supposed to double about every 2 days {store this away, it will be important later}. So I had labs drawn Wednesday and Friday. The results were 6. Both days. Medically, that is barely pregnant. Most Drs consider anything over 5 pregnant, so I was on the edge. So more blood work was ordered for Monday. But I knew...this wasn't going to be a viable pregnancy. Again.
Monday's results were 9. Rising, but still not where they needed to be. The next day, Christmas Eve no less, I started bleeding. But I was expecting it. Again, I was sad, but there was nothing I could do about it. My Dr called (yep the Dr, not the nurse. Love her!) and we talked about it. She said she was diagnosing it as a chemical pregnancy. Basically that means the egg fertilized but didn't implant properly. Most women don't even know they are pregnant with these and just consider their period to be late or their period comes on time. She advised us to wait a month to continue trying, but wanted me to come back in again for labs. I didn't bother following up with these as at this point I just assumed they were 0 after the bleeding. A week later the nurse calls with the results = 12! Weird. Why are my numbers still going up? Albeit slowly. So back again for blood work scheduled for 2 weeks since the last one.
In the meantime, I had already ordered more OPK and HPTs (fyi - amazon is really cheap if you are trying to get pregnant!). They came in the mail while we were on a weekend get-away with family. The night we got back from our little trip, I took another test knowing that I was going in for blood work the next morning. The test was positive...and DARK! Now I am really confused and thinking I didn't miscarry fully and will have to have a D&C. Ugh. So not what I wanted.
Well the numbers were 'high'...719. Now we are getting excited again. but really how did this happen? I'll spare you some of the details, but basically nothing added up with the science of timing of ovulation, fertilization, implantation, the supposed miscarriage, timing of intercourse. It just didn't make sense. So I was medically deemed pregnant, but I had absolutely no idea how far along I was. Dr ordered more lab work for a week later. Results were 2040. Yay...they are going up, but not as fast/high as they should be. So another week...2410. They are still up, but again not as high as they could be. But now we can get an ultrasound to see what is going on.
Ultrasound day was Wednesday January 29. I usually go to these appointments by myself as W has the kids. But this time I made him come with me. I was so nervous. I knew in my head, based on the numbers, that the likelihood of a good outcome was slim. But in my heart I was so hoping that there was a miracle going on and my body just wasn't performing to the books.
The tech first started with a wand on my abdomen, stating that if there was a baby she would measure the baby and we would listen to the HB and I would be on my way to the exam room with the Dr. If she couldn't see anything, she move to a trans-vaginal US. As you've probably already guessed she couldn't see anything abdominally. Sadly there wasn't a baby in there. There was a small spot of fluid (I'm guessing, as she didn't say what things were throughout the procedure), but being that I have had two successful pregnancies with early US, I knew that it wasn't big enough to even say it COULD be something. Devastation is not even the word for I was feeling at that moment. I was borderline hysterical. It was awful. Just awful.
Walking out the US room to the exam, I passed by the Dr. She looked up and smiled at me, and I lost it again. She of course knew right then and all but chased down the tech to get the results. Once in the exam room, we discussed things further and how she wanted to proceed. My amazing doctor {Have I mentioned that before?} wanted to proceed with caution. While we both knew that this wasn't viable and it wasn't likely that I would pass everything on my own, she wasn't ready to schedule a D&C right then and there. First step was to order more blood work and go from there...maybe more ultrasounds, etc. It could be up to two weeks before we had a final determination. I cried and cried some more. Dr. pat my leg and reassured me as best as she could and at the end gave me a hug. I love her. Really, I do.
I stopped at the lab on my way out and by 4:15 that day, Dr already had my results. My numbers were already dropping. So the final diagnosis was made, 'abnormal pregnancy', and a D&C was scheduled for the following Tuesday. It should end there right? Nope, not for me.
Saturday...I get on the treadmill for a workout and afterwards head to the bathroom only to discover that I am bleeding. I immediately call my Dr's office. Of course she is not the Dr on call and the one who answers has NO CLUE what is going on with me and why I needed to get a hold of MY Dr. ASAP. So all I can do is wait for Monday...I was already scheduled for Pre-op with Dr, so they threw in another ultrasound as well. Things looked different, obviously, from Wednesday's ultrasound, but still not quite right. When Dr and I sat down in the exam room, she point blank said "I don't know" what is going on. But we are going ahead with the D&C the next morning so that we can say for certain that I was 'clean' of all pregnancy tissue, etc on that day. The D&C went smooth and was fairly easy for me. It was under general anesthesia and I woke nauseous, but was otherwise pain free. I even went back to work the next day.
So now here we are...I have a follow up with my Dr tomorrow to see what's next. I'm certain she will tell me to wait a full cycle to actively try again. I'm not sure what the ramifications, if any, are of having two successive miscarriages and how it will impact my medical care. But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
I still want that third baby...but at some point, we have to draw the line. I don't want to be doing this for 5, or even 2, years. I owe it to my other two to 'get on with life'. And IF we suffer another loss, I know we will be done trying. We hope its meant to be, but if its not, well, I am still very blessed!
I am not even sure where to begin with this....but the last year has pretty much sucked. Ok really, my life doesn't suck. I have two beautiful, amazingly smart, rambunctious, loving, happy boys. And a husband that (secretly) adores me. {He's not one of those guys that shows emotion, but he takes care of me and does things I wouldn't expect him to do. And never complains. Or tells me I'm failing.} So where did everything go wrong last year?? Let me start with January...
Long before W and I decided to actually have children, we had always talked about three. When I had complications with Charles, we weren't sure we would even have two. Then we had complications with Blake and the timing of his birth was going to be the deciding factor. NICU = no third baby. No NICU = We'd talk. He didn't go in the NICU! Yay! So now it came down to whether my Dr. would ok it and the timing. (W wanted to wait, I wanted them 2 years apart). I talked with my {amazing} doctor and she gave me the green light for the timing I wanted and W reluctantly agreed. The month to start: January 2013, for a fall baby. Charles and Blake were conceived fairly easily so the thought NEVER crossed my mind that we wouldn't get pregnant IN January.
But January came and went...so did February, March, April, May...etc. With each passing month I did more and more research. What can I do to help me get pregnant? I used OPKs (ovulation detectors), took my BBT (basal body temp) to confirm ovulation, tried baby aspirin, CoQ10, Iron, folic acid, mucinex...if it seemed harmless, I tried it. September was the first month I tried Mucinex (I'll spare you the details, but if you want them google mucinex and fertility) and FINALLY at the end of October, a positive pregnancy test!!!!!!!!
I was soooooooooooooo excited! I told everyone right away...coworkers, family, close friends, my hair dresser...anyone I came in contact with knew I was pregnant! {Except facebook..I didn't publicly post it there}.
A couple weeks later, I was on the phone with my sister talking about the pregnancy, and how I had told everyone, but who cares because in our family we didn't have miscarriages. We are 'fertile myrtles' and get pregnant easily and stay pregnant. I may deliver early, but getting pregnant wasn't usually a problem. The next day, a Friday, I woke to bleeding. Heavy. I knew right away what was happening. I called my doctor and she had me come in for labs. I had an ultrasound the following Tuesday and there was no evidence of being pregnant. I had been 6 weeks along.
I was devastated of course...but more so I was at peace. We had tried for so long that I was beginning to think something was wrong and that I couldn't get pregnant again. So despite the miscarriage I was happy that we could get pregnant. I just didn't want to go through the process again. It was stressful for us and our marriage.
The Dr gave us the ok to try again right away...and so we did. My cycle was longer than usual but I did ovulate and was shocked to see, 6 weeks later, ANOTHER positive pregnancy test! I think I was even more excited this time! I just knew this was going to be it. I felt so strongly about it being a good outcome, there wasn't any other possibility in my head. That same day, I called the Dr's office to get in for lab work {per her instructions}, it took some convincing of the nurse...but finally made it in. The lab work was to test for HcG, or Betas, and it tells how the pregnancy is progressing. One number alone doesn't mean much so there is always a repeat two days later. The numbers are supposed to double about every 2 days {store this away, it will be important later}. So I had labs drawn Wednesday and Friday. The results were 6. Both days. Medically, that is barely pregnant. Most Drs consider anything over 5 pregnant, so I was on the edge. So more blood work was ordered for Monday. But I knew...this wasn't going to be a viable pregnancy. Again.
Monday's results were 9. Rising, but still not where they needed to be. The next day, Christmas Eve no less, I started bleeding. But I was expecting it. Again, I was sad, but there was nothing I could do about it. My Dr called (yep the Dr, not the nurse. Love her!) and we talked about it. She said she was diagnosing it as a chemical pregnancy. Basically that means the egg fertilized but didn't implant properly. Most women don't even know they are pregnant with these and just consider their period to be late or their period comes on time. She advised us to wait a month to continue trying, but wanted me to come back in again for labs. I didn't bother following up with these as at this point I just assumed they were 0 after the bleeding. A week later the nurse calls with the results = 12! Weird. Why are my numbers still going up? Albeit slowly. So back again for blood work scheduled for 2 weeks since the last one.
In the meantime, I had already ordered more OPK and HPTs (fyi - amazon is really cheap if you are trying to get pregnant!). They came in the mail while we were on a weekend get-away with family. The night we got back from our little trip, I took another test knowing that I was going in for blood work the next morning. The test was positive...and DARK! Now I am really confused and thinking I didn't miscarry fully and will have to have a D&C. Ugh. So not what I wanted.
Well the numbers were 'high'...719. Now we are getting excited again. but really how did this happen? I'll spare you some of the details, but basically nothing added up with the science of timing of ovulation, fertilization, implantation, the supposed miscarriage, timing of intercourse. It just didn't make sense. So I was medically deemed pregnant, but I had absolutely no idea how far along I was. Dr ordered more lab work for a week later. Results were 2040. Yay...they are going up, but not as fast/high as they should be. So another week...2410. They are still up, but again not as high as they could be. But now we can get an ultrasound to see what is going on.
Ultrasound day was Wednesday January 29. I usually go to these appointments by myself as W has the kids. But this time I made him come with me. I was so nervous. I knew in my head, based on the numbers, that the likelihood of a good outcome was slim. But in my heart I was so hoping that there was a miracle going on and my body just wasn't performing to the books.
The tech first started with a wand on my abdomen, stating that if there was a baby she would measure the baby and we would listen to the HB and I would be on my way to the exam room with the Dr. If she couldn't see anything, she move to a trans-vaginal US. As you've probably already guessed she couldn't see anything abdominally. Sadly there wasn't a baby in there. There was a small spot of fluid (I'm guessing, as she didn't say what things were throughout the procedure), but being that I have had two successful pregnancies with early US, I knew that it wasn't big enough to even say it COULD be something. Devastation is not even the word for I was feeling at that moment. I was borderline hysterical. It was awful. Just awful.
Walking out the US room to the exam, I passed by the Dr. She looked up and smiled at me, and I lost it again. She of course knew right then and all but chased down the tech to get the results. Once in the exam room, we discussed things further and how she wanted to proceed. My amazing doctor {Have I mentioned that before?} wanted to proceed with caution. While we both knew that this wasn't viable and it wasn't likely that I would pass everything on my own, she wasn't ready to schedule a D&C right then and there. First step was to order more blood work and go from there...maybe more ultrasounds, etc. It could be up to two weeks before we had a final determination. I cried and cried some more. Dr. pat my leg and reassured me as best as she could and at the end gave me a hug. I love her. Really, I do.
I stopped at the lab on my way out and by 4:15 that day, Dr already had my results. My numbers were already dropping. So the final diagnosis was made, 'abnormal pregnancy', and a D&C was scheduled for the following Tuesday. It should end there right? Nope, not for me.
Saturday...I get on the treadmill for a workout and afterwards head to the bathroom only to discover that I am bleeding. I immediately call my Dr's office. Of course she is not the Dr on call and the one who answers has NO CLUE what is going on with me and why I needed to get a hold of MY Dr. ASAP. So all I can do is wait for Monday...I was already scheduled for Pre-op with Dr, so they threw in another ultrasound as well. Things looked different, obviously, from Wednesday's ultrasound, but still not quite right. When Dr and I sat down in the exam room, she point blank said "I don't know" what is going on. But we are going ahead with the D&C the next morning so that we can say for certain that I was 'clean' of all pregnancy tissue, etc on that day. The D&C went smooth and was fairly easy for me. It was under general anesthesia and I woke nauseous, but was otherwise pain free. I even went back to work the next day.
So now here we are...I have a follow up with my Dr tomorrow to see what's next. I'm certain she will tell me to wait a full cycle to actively try again. I'm not sure what the ramifications, if any, are of having two successive miscarriages and how it will impact my medical care. But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
I still want that third baby...but at some point, we have to draw the line. I don't want to be doing this for 5, or even 2, years. I owe it to my other two to 'get on with life'. And IF we suffer another loss, I know we will be done trying. We hope its meant to be, but if its not, well, I am still very blessed!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
A new year...
I have been horrible about keeping up on the blog. I just don't know what to write anymore.. We really lead a very mundane/normal/everyday life. Who wants to read that!?!? But here goes a little update...
I picked up a new little hobby...Cookie decorating. A friend posted pictures of halloween cookies that looked fabulous and after asking her how she did it, I tried Christmas cookies. And LOVED it! Here are a few samples:
I picked up a new little hobby...Cookie decorating. A friend posted pictures of halloween cookies that looked fabulous and after asking her how she did it, I tried Christmas cookies. And LOVED it! Here are a few samples:
The kids had a good Christmas. Charles was super excited. I had many conversations with him about waht he wanted rfom Santa and it was always a 'present'. Didn't seem to matter what was in the present! Blake didn't quite get it, but he sure did enjoy unwrapping presents! Even some that were not his own!
Here is a pic of Chasrles on Christmas morning. Love this one of him!
And here is Blake being silly! I love this crooked/devilish grin of his! And boy is he a determined little kid! NOTHING is safe in our house anymore. He moves the dining room chairs around to get what he wants. Anfd don't try to stop him, he gets MAD!! He does really good htough if I or W play with him in the toy room. He needa lot of redirection if we are not focused on him.
W is super excited that we have finally started his man-cave in the basement! He won some of his fantasy leagues during football and is finally able to throw some walls up. We have framing and the start of some rooms. I think it is going to be great when its done! There will be one large living room, two bedrooms, a large office/project room and a full bathroom. We might just start living down there!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
My poor poor baby...
He is riddled with second baby syndrome!! Poor thing had a birthday over TWO weeks ago and I STILL haven't posted about it!!!
So yes..my sweet little Blakey turned 1!!!!! We had a small but very HOT party for him on his actual birthday on Sunday July 1. I sadly didn't take too many pictures...but he had a good time playing in the baby pools we had set up. He didn't want his cake though and started reaching to get out just about as soon as I put it front of him. I did a construction theme for him which turned out really cute! As part of the theme I put "Dirt Cake" (pudding and crushed graham crackers) in a dump truck. So cute! We were also pleasantly surprised by the attendance of an old but great friend of mine and her little girls. They seemed to have a lot of fun too. It was great to catch up with her and meet her babies.
So what is he up to now!?!? Oh my oh my he is so so naughty!! He is into everything!! And I do mean EVERYTHING!! He is walking like a pro and just about running. He likes to be chased and puts his arms straight in front of himself when he runs away..hilarious! He has a love for the garbage can and his dirty diapers (don't ask, I don't know!). He also likes to put anything he can in his mouth. He knows he is not supposed to as he will show me he has something in his mouth and then giggle and run away!! So hard not to laugh at him! He loves his brother and also loves tormenting him...he will take something of Charles', giggle, and run away! Charles' falls for it every.single.time! Sadly, he still gets up 1-2x a night. The last couple nights I have thrown a bottle of water in his crib to see if all he wants is a drink, but he still gets up. Maybe one day he will sleep through the night.
He had his 1yr appointment ans is weighing in at 23lbs 6 oz and 30 in. Compared to Charles, they are identical in height and weight at 1 year!
I will try to add some pictures tonight if I can get on the computer!
So yes..my sweet little Blakey turned 1!!!!! We had a small but very HOT party for him on his actual birthday on Sunday July 1. I sadly didn't take too many pictures...but he had a good time playing in the baby pools we had set up. He didn't want his cake though and started reaching to get out just about as soon as I put it front of him. I did a construction theme for him which turned out really cute! As part of the theme I put "Dirt Cake" (pudding and crushed graham crackers) in a dump truck. So cute! We were also pleasantly surprised by the attendance of an old but great friend of mine and her little girls. They seemed to have a lot of fun too. It was great to catch up with her and meet her babies.
So what is he up to now!?!? Oh my oh my he is so so naughty!! He is into everything!! And I do mean EVERYTHING!! He is walking like a pro and just about running. He likes to be chased and puts his arms straight in front of himself when he runs away..hilarious! He has a love for the garbage can and his dirty diapers (don't ask, I don't know!). He also likes to put anything he can in his mouth. He knows he is not supposed to as he will show me he has something in his mouth and then giggle and run away!! So hard not to laugh at him! He loves his brother and also loves tormenting him...he will take something of Charles', giggle, and run away! Charles' falls for it every.single.time! Sadly, he still gets up 1-2x a night. The last couple nights I have thrown a bottle of water in his crib to see if all he wants is a drink, but he still gets up. Maybe one day he will sleep through the night.
He had his 1yr appointment ans is weighing in at 23lbs 6 oz and 30 in. Compared to Charles, they are identical in height and weight at 1 year!
I will try to add some pictures tonight if I can get on the computer!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Goal #1: ACHIEVED!!!
Not sure how I did it (you know, because I LOOOOVVVEEE food) but as of today I am calling it official that I have met my #1 weight loss goal!! I am not going to tell you my weight but I will tell you that I have lost 12.3lbs since January 20. I have changed my eating habits and trained for and ran a half marathon in that time, but I don't think it was enough to warrant a 12lb weight loss...I think this new medication I am on (for a different issue) is contributing as much of the loss occurred after I started taking it. I am not complaining AT ALL!! I am hoping to lose another 5lbs but am happy where I am at now.
In other news...Charles has for some reason decided that he HATES baths now. He used to love them and would stay in there for an hour if we let him, but now...He is screaming at the mere mention of having to take a bath. And I mean all out melt down, uncontrollable sobbing complete with snot, a red face and saying he would rather go to bed. I can think of a few contributing factors: 1) He doesn't like to involuntarily share space with his brother (sad, I know), and well, Blake doesn't like to sit still. So to be confined to the bath tub where he cant get away is traumatizing to him. 2) He detests having water in his face and each time we wash and rinse his hair, he gets water in his face. I have tried to have him "Look at the sky" but he puts his head down as soon as I start to put water on his head. It wasn't always so bad. It started out as just crying during hair washing and progressed to what it is now over the last week. We are going to try some things to see if we can get him back on track...separate baths, more "looking at the sky", letting him do it himself, and more importantly talking to him about why the bath is scary. He doesn't have a good answer to that (I mean, he is only 3!) and if you suggest something like Blake or an owie, he will agree and make up some story that I don't understand.
W went away for the weekend last week...It was just me and the boys for FOUR full days. Yes, I know what you are thinking...I am their mother, people do it all the time, its not a big deal. I know this. But it's not MY routine and well Blake is high maintenance. But we survived! It was actually really great. We had one night of awfulness (see aforementioned bath trauma) but otherwise I think we did ok. The boys survived and were both very happy to see their Dad. Charles was even more ecstatic because the iPad came back! Ha!! W took it with him on the trip to watch movies, listen to music, etc. C asked for it multiple times and was very sad each time i told him that Daddy had it. Soo funny!
Blake..well he is Blake! He (in the most loving mom voice ever) is my punk baby. He wants what he wants and there is no diverting his attention or making him do something else (see aforementioned bath issue). W had to sit on one of floor vents yesterday to keep him from messing with it and he cried the whole time. So sad that he couldn't get it. He is such a momma's boy...I can't so much as walk out of the room without having him scream. Yesterday he actually got up before I left for work and was in the family room with W when I came out to make my lunch and leave. He got mad that I didn't pick him up right away and then when I did he wouldn't let me put him back down so I took him in the kitchen with me...but then when I actually had to leave, meltdown city with the cry that just breaks your heart. I am sure he was fine within 2 minutes of me leaving but it tugs my heart strings every.single.time. He is starting to walk now too!! It's sooo cute. He lets go of the couch more and takes more steps each day. He is way ahead of his brother on that! C didn't walk until 17 months and had zero interest in it. And he has 6 teeth now...two more popped in this week. Blake has also decided that he doesn't like baby food anymore. He wants to eat big people food or at least be able to feed himself. Its a struggle to get enough into him. We still get up multiple times a night most nights....I can't even say its getting better because it is different every night. And most nights bedtime is a nightmare. Wow that's a lot of complaints! I love that kid and when he is not being stubborn he cracks me up! He is always smiling and I have found his ticklish spot and his giggles are the cutest things ever!
In other news...Charles has for some reason decided that he HATES baths now. He used to love them and would stay in there for an hour if we let him, but now...He is screaming at the mere mention of having to take a bath. And I mean all out melt down, uncontrollable sobbing complete with snot, a red face and saying he would rather go to bed. I can think of a few contributing factors: 1) He doesn't like to involuntarily share space with his brother (sad, I know), and well, Blake doesn't like to sit still. So to be confined to the bath tub where he cant get away is traumatizing to him. 2) He detests having water in his face and each time we wash and rinse his hair, he gets water in his face. I have tried to have him "Look at the sky" but he puts his head down as soon as I start to put water on his head. It wasn't always so bad. It started out as just crying during hair washing and progressed to what it is now over the last week. We are going to try some things to see if we can get him back on track...separate baths, more "looking at the sky", letting him do it himself, and more importantly talking to him about why the bath is scary. He doesn't have a good answer to that (I mean, he is only 3!) and if you suggest something like Blake or an owie, he will agree and make up some story that I don't understand.
W went away for the weekend last week...It was just me and the boys for FOUR full days. Yes, I know what you are thinking...I am their mother, people do it all the time, its not a big deal. I know this. But it's not MY routine and well Blake is high maintenance. But we survived! It was actually really great. We had one night of awfulness (see aforementioned bath trauma) but otherwise I think we did ok. The boys survived and were both very happy to see their Dad. Charles was even more ecstatic because the iPad came back! Ha!! W took it with him on the trip to watch movies, listen to music, etc. C asked for it multiple times and was very sad each time i told him that Daddy had it. Soo funny!
Blake..well he is Blake! He (in the most loving mom voice ever) is my punk baby. He wants what he wants and there is no diverting his attention or making him do something else (see aforementioned bath issue). W had to sit on one of floor vents yesterday to keep him from messing with it and he cried the whole time. So sad that he couldn't get it. He is such a momma's boy...I can't so much as walk out of the room without having him scream. Yesterday he actually got up before I left for work and was in the family room with W when I came out to make my lunch and leave. He got mad that I didn't pick him up right away and then when I did he wouldn't let me put him back down so I took him in the kitchen with me...but then when I actually had to leave, meltdown city with the cry that just breaks your heart. I am sure he was fine within 2 minutes of me leaving but it tugs my heart strings every.single.time. He is starting to walk now too!! It's sooo cute. He lets go of the couch more and takes more steps each day. He is way ahead of his brother on that! C didn't walk until 17 months and had zero interest in it. And he has 6 teeth now...two more popped in this week. Blake has also decided that he doesn't like baby food anymore. He wants to eat big people food or at least be able to feed himself. Its a struggle to get enough into him. We still get up multiple times a night most nights....I can't even say its getting better because it is different every night. And most nights bedtime is a nightmare. Wow that's a lot of complaints! I love that kid and when he is not being stubborn he cracks me up! He is always smiling and I have found his ticklish spot and his giggles are the cutest things ever!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Shooting myself in the foot
Yikes! How did it get to be the end of April already!?!?!? This year is already going by way way to fast....in a mere two months we will be celebrating our baby's FIRST birthday! Oh my...I just want to keep him little.
I am hoping I didn't shoot myself in the foot..This past Wednesday I had a fairly large cyst removed from my lower back. I didn't think it would be a big deal as it was done under local anesthesia and usually surgeons are able to make smaller incisions than you think they do. BUT mine is bigger than I thought it would be ...close to two inches long. And it is right at my waistband. As in every.single.pair of pants hit it. Despite being covered with a band aid, it is still getting irritated. So I haven't run since Tuesday night. Which in the grand scheme of things probably wouldn't be so bad..except this past weekend was our longest run for training, 11 miles. AND I skipped the week prior (don't ask, I have no good reason). Not a smart move. I am going to try to run tonight for a few miles, but race day is less than 2 weeks away so no more real long training runs. I keep telling myself that this is an endurance run (all trails vs street running) so I don't need to worry about time, but I am still slightly nervous.
Blake is STILL getting up 1-2 times per night. Ugh. I am not sure what we are doing wrong here! And he is eating more during the day. In fact yesterday I know he had two good meals outside of his bottles because I fed him. He is definitely getting better with that too. Although he is ready for big people food. Last weekend we went to DQ and I gave him Charles' grilled cheese since he wasn't eating it and boy was Blake in heaven! He gnawed on that thing forever and even got a few bits with no signs of choking. I then gave him a bite of garlic bread during the week and he loved that too. I have tried some of the third stage food jars and he liked the spaghetti that had chunks, but another one he didn't I think it depends on the size of the chunks. He also likes munching on puffs and the Gerber crunchy sticks. I am trying frozen vegetables steamed really soft and he isn't a big fan just yet.
Charles is doing great!! He has taken ownership of my iPad. And will yell that it is "Charles' turn!" if I go anywhere near him (he thinks I am going to take it...rightfully so!). And when I say it's Mommy's i Pad he says No, it's Charles' iPad. Stinker. He does have his own games, but I tend to find him in mine or W's and with things messed with. Like random requests sent to random people for Drawsomething. Hmph. He also has this thing where he (with W's help of course) has 'ranked' each family member. W is #1, he is #2 (because he was 2years old at the time this started), I am #3 and Blake is #4. And he .does.not.waiver. Ever. I keep trying to convince him that I am #1 to no avail. He will slip up every know and then but in the next sentence he corrects saying Daddy is #1. And he laughs at me when I try to tell him that I am #1.. It's cute.
W is going to Vegas in two weeks for a bachelor party..I will be home with the kids by myself for 3 whole days! Should be interesting..I haven't been alone with them for more than a day. Of course I can handle it...but it will be interesting.
I am hoping I didn't shoot myself in the foot..This past Wednesday I had a fairly large cyst removed from my lower back. I didn't think it would be a big deal as it was done under local anesthesia and usually surgeons are able to make smaller incisions than you think they do. BUT mine is bigger than I thought it would be ...close to two inches long. And it is right at my waistband. As in every.single.pair of pants hit it. Despite being covered with a band aid, it is still getting irritated. So I haven't run since Tuesday night. Which in the grand scheme of things probably wouldn't be so bad..except this past weekend was our longest run for training, 11 miles. AND I skipped the week prior (don't ask, I have no good reason). Not a smart move. I am going to try to run tonight for a few miles, but race day is less than 2 weeks away so no more real long training runs. I keep telling myself that this is an endurance run (all trails vs street running) so I don't need to worry about time, but I am still slightly nervous.
Blake is STILL getting up 1-2 times per night. Ugh. I am not sure what we are doing wrong here! And he is eating more during the day. In fact yesterday I know he had two good meals outside of his bottles because I fed him. He is definitely getting better with that too. Although he is ready for big people food. Last weekend we went to DQ and I gave him Charles' grilled cheese since he wasn't eating it and boy was Blake in heaven! He gnawed on that thing forever and even got a few bits with no signs of choking. I then gave him a bite of garlic bread during the week and he loved that too. I have tried some of the third stage food jars and he liked the spaghetti that had chunks, but another one he didn't I think it depends on the size of the chunks. He also likes munching on puffs and the Gerber crunchy sticks. I am trying frozen vegetables steamed really soft and he isn't a big fan just yet.
Charles is doing great!! He has taken ownership of my iPad. And will yell that it is "Charles' turn!" if I go anywhere near him (he thinks I am going to take it...rightfully so!). And when I say it's Mommy's i Pad he says No, it's Charles' iPad. Stinker. He does have his own games, but I tend to find him in mine or W's and with things messed with. Like random requests sent to random people for Drawsomething. Hmph. He also has this thing where he (with W's help of course) has 'ranked' each family member. W is #1, he is #2 (because he was 2years old at the time this started), I am #3 and Blake is #4. And he .does.not.waiver. Ever. I keep trying to convince him that I am #1 to no avail. He will slip up every know and then but in the next sentence he corrects saying Daddy is #1. And he laughs at me when I try to tell him that I am #1.. It's cute.
W is going to Vegas in two weeks for a bachelor party..I will be home with the kids by myself for 3 whole days! Should be interesting..I haven't been alone with them for more than a day. Of course I can handle it...but it will be interesting.
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