35 Weeks

What can I say, I am a little surprised (yet ecstatic!) that we are at this point!!!! There have been some bumps along the way, though minor in comparison to the road we traveled with Charles.

The biggest bump actually came last week. After going to my usual Wednesday appointment and receiving my next to last 17P injection, I went home to watch our neighbor's little boy and just in general lay around. Charles has been having a hard time going to bed by himself sine I have been home so he and I laid down to take a nap together. I woke a few hours later with the weird feeling of my dream being what was really happening..nothing serious just a weird sensation in my dream that I woke to realize was a contraction. W's friend had stopped by and we chatted for a bit. I sat on the couch the whole time as Charlie was still waking up (Neighbor boy was still sleeping). Once his friend left I told W I was having contractions. I timed them for a little bit and they were anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes apart. They weren't painful just uncomfortable. Although we knew what the Dr would say {Go to Hospital}, we called. Sure enough that's where they wanted us to go. So W quickly got the boys together and another car seat in the car and he drove me over. I didn't think they would admit me..fluids and slow down the contractions and let me go...NOPE. Dr checked me and I was 2cm and 60% effaced. She pulled out all the stops to stop the labor. I received the first of two steroid shots for his lungs and was put on the evil drug magnesium sulfate with a 6g bolus to start. I know this probably means nothing to you but let me tell you it was AWFUL! Contractions finally stopped around 10pm (I think) but then started again at 1 am pretty consistent a little more intense but still not painful. I didn't sleep a wink all night. By morning my back was aching and I felt a little cramping but nothing bad. Dr checked me again and I was 2-3cm and 80% effaced. So now we are all thinking this baby is coming this weekend. They just want to hold off to get the second steroid shot and another 24hrs for it to have any effectiveness. Fortunately contractions stopped again about 4pm and stayed at bay through the next day too. Friday morning Dr moved me over to the high risk unit and lowered my dose of mag. My nurse and I both said see you later in the afternoon because we were sure that I would start contracting again!

Well, I did but not consistently until 1am. What is with 1am??? I laid there just waiting for them to come in and move me...but they didn't. Dr ordered an increase in my mag dose again. Prior to this we were talking about being released on Sunday, but I know that I have to be off the mag for 24 hours before release so I was sure I was staying another day to again wean off of it. But nope...Dr came in and checked me again. I'm still the same, 2-3 cm and 80% so the contractions aren't doing anything which is very GOOD! And she turned off the mag...woo-hoo!! Saturday was fairly uneventful. I contracted on and off but nothing to be concerned about apparently. Sunday morning Dr came in and said let's go home! So I am home still pregnant and on 'bed-rest'.

While neither W or I wanted Blake to be born this early, we prepared ourselves because we thought it was imminent. I communicated this to my Drs as well. And honestly when you are prepared to meet your son, it is really hard to hide disappointment when they tell you "Not today" even though you know it is for the best. I have a feeling my Drs thought I was questioning them...a comment made by Dr H and then a comment by Dr M. But hopefully I cleared that up with Dr M by reiterating that we are happy he is still inside and cooking despite being prepared.

So now we are just playing the wait and see game...waiting for my water to break, contractions to get more painful, more dilation/effacement...anything that shows I am laboring (even silent labor) they will deliver him. (Yesterday I was still 2-3cm and back to 50% effaced and will be checked at every appt) If nothing happens..we are officially scheduled for July 21!!! Knowing that my body doesn't ever do what they think it will, I am 75% sure we will make it to then. So exciting!!

For now we are just going to keep cooking, relaxing and taking it one day at a time. I am still contracting here and there but not regularly or consistently. I get the most a couple hours before my procardia is due (every 6) and in the evenings. Dr wasn't concerned..or if she was, there is not much else they can do...aside from that they don't stop labor after 35 weeks.

Harsh Reality

I always thought I would be one of those Moms that would be able to work until I went into labor. My pregnancy with Charles was picture picture up until the day we went in to labor at 27 weeks. There weren't any signs of the troubles that we then faced. Being my first pregnancy, there was no reason to suspect or check for signs of labor or early delivery. It definitely was not how I wanted things to go. But in the end of course we are fortunate...we have a healthy little boy who is simply amazing.

Prior to even thinking about having another baby, we knew it was not going to be easy street. Dr. M warned us that when Moms have pre-term labor, it is nearly a given that it will happen again...and earlier in the pregnancy. But she had a plan in place for us to help ensure that we would be able to have a somewhat healthy pregnancy and get as close to term as possible.

Let me tell you...it has not been easy! Physically, up until now, it has been ok. Mentally that is a whole other story. In the beginning we were faced with short cervix (that later corrected itself) and I feel like I have been on edge ever since. On the outside and when speaking to most people, I am excited. And I have received a lot of comments to the effect of "this time it seems to be going much better" Sure, it is, in some regard. But we are also doing A LOT of things to help it go better. And those things are taking their toll on me. Others can't see the internal angst I have regarding the safe delivery of baby Blake. And it is hard, if not nearly impossible, to explain how I feel and have felt. I don't really want to be told to think positive, or if so and so did you can do it, etc., etc. You just don't know until you have been there.

My sister yesterday told me she was going on vacation. I asked her where and she then asked if she hadn't already told me (honestly I don't think she did :) but I can't remember) I told her even if she had, I am little self-absorbed right now! Fortunately, she understood. I think she is one of the only ones who hasn't tried to change how I feel about things...just listens. I love her for that. I'm sorry that my stress has affected the relationships (outside of me & W) have suffered... :(

So here we are at 31 weeks and getting closer and closer to delivery. My last day of work is next Friday, June 3. I was/am excited about it. Initially the excitement was just the thought of having time off work and being able to spend some time with Charles. But then I started feeling guilty because I was actually feeling pretty good. I began to question the justification for leaving work early...and then today came. I have {undiagnosed of course} what is probably SPD, a mild case but painful none the less. It hurts to walk, move my legs, turn over in bed, get up from sitting, etc. It has been brewing for awhile but has been manageable. The last two days it has been a constant burn and getting progressively worse. And if I stand for any length of time, my legs swell. And regardless of standing, by the end of the day I am almost always swollen. Today, I had full on 'cankles' by noon. My feet feel as if they are stuffed in my shoes. I just want to cry.

I have been on Pro-Cardia since 23 weeks...I hate the medication. It makes me dizzy, my heart race, and gives me an anxious feeling. It also contributes to my swelling and probably to my irritability too. I lashed out at W the other night...I felt awful. I was nit-picking. But I think sometimes he doesn't fully understand what I am going through. It is his baby too, but it is not his body that wants to give out.

Now I feel justified in leaving early...I need to be relaxing more with my feet up more...and no more dress shoes.

I feel like I can't plan anything..."What if something happens?" is always at the back of my mind...mostly at the front, actually. I registered Charles for a two program of swim lessons. I know he will love it. And then hours after I registered and paid. I questioned my self. The lessons will be during my 34th and 35th week. The risk of delivery goes up every week (normal pregnancy or not) and this becomes a high risk period for me. eesh. But I want to think positive that I will be able to take him.

I feel like a big baby. I should be able to do this. I wanted to do this. I have dear friends who can't or struggle to do this and they would give their left arm to be in my position...and I kind of want to do it again. I should suck it up and deal with it..right? I'm trying. W really has been soooooooo supportive. He takes care of just about everything around the house. And gets me just about everything I need..and he doesn't complain. I Love him.

Sorry this post isn't very positive. It's been a hard week for me.

10 weeks to go!!!

I can hardly believe that Blake will be here in 10 weeks or less!! (hopefully no less!) And things are still going very smooth. Only 6 more 17-P injections, 7 more weeks of procardia (ugh!) and in three weeks I start twice weekly NSTs and bi-weekly growth ultrasounds. Speaking of ultrasounds...last weeks ultrsound was a growth ultrasound...Blake was estimated to weigh 2 lbs 10 oz. It puts him in the 55%ile, so he is pretty average right now. He showed us his toes and 'the goods' again, but he would not cooperate for a face shot though. Such a stinker already.

Last week, an overwhelming sense of calm came over me. I can't really explain it...maybe I was holding my breath waiting to get past 'D-Day'? I don't know..but what I do know is that everything is going to be ok! I am not looking at every twinge or weird feeling and wondering "is something happening?", I know I will be going to work tomorrow (boo!), and I know Blake is going to stay in until he is ready...or until 39 weeks when he gets his eviction notice! All is good!

Here I am at 29 weeks:

The weather finally turned nice around here, and let me tell you Charles is LOVING it!! Here he is outside today with the sand/water table he got for his birthday...

Last night I opened the front door to get some air circulating andhe of course tried to go out. We stopped him and then he said to us "Outside now". He is getting so big and putting more and more words together...yet he still likes to tell me long long stories that I can not decipher!

Tonight is the third night in a row that he has gone to bed by himself in his big boy bed. No more Mommy or Daddy laying with him till he falls asleep. We kind of did it cold turkey too...and we have only had a few tears. Last night was the worst..tonight just a little whine. So proud of him! (I just hope he doesn't end up in my bed at 2 am again...eeesh!)

12, 5 and 'D-Day'

So which one would you like to start with?!?!?! Oh, my choice? Ok here goes...

'D-Day'- Yesterday was 'D-day'. It actually arrived without much thought or anxiety for me...well except for non pregnancy issues occurring at this time that I can not discuss on the interwebz. Oh, you want me to back up a bit? Wondering what 'D-Day' is? I went into labor with Charles at 27 weeks and 2 days. From the moment we knew we were pregnant, this has been the day that has brought the most anxiety for me...what will happen at 27 weeks? Will we even make it to 27 weeks? What kind of complications will I face this time? So we made it...I am now 27 weeks and 3 days! While we are not out of the woods in terms of delivering a baby that will not spend any time in the NICU, that I have not had any complications so far is reassuring to me. I have cervical checks scheduled on Wednesday at 28 weeks and again at 30 weeks. Hopefully both are great!

12- Blake will be here in LESS than 12 weeks!!!!!! At my last appointment, Dr M said that she will be scheduling my repeat c-section for 39 weeks!! That is July 21. Time is going to fly!! Of course there is always a chance he will come sooner, but we are guaranteed a baby no later than July 21!!!!

5- This one has to do with work... My place of employment is approximately 55 miles from home and at least an hour drive. Weeks ago, Dr M and I had talked about cutting my time down to part time starting at 32 weeks..but this last week she changed her mind and is now thinking of pulling me completely at 30 weeks. We will try to go to 32 though, barring any cervical changes prior to that point. I am relieved to say the least. My job can be very stressful and there are other factors that are keeping my stress level up. I have noticed an increase in my overall blood pressure this last week as well. Also...as we get closer to term the more likely something can happen, such as my water breaking, and I DO NOT want to be stuck so far from home if that happens.

So far I am feeling pretty good...getting bigger by the day! Thankfully my weight gain has slowed and I only gained 1 pound in the last 3 weeks. I do have pelvic pain that is pretty common in pregnancy. There is a technical name for it that I don't know, but essentially it feels as if the front of my pelvic bone is being pulled apart. It makes getting out of bed, crossing my legs and general movements alot of fun.

In addition to my cervical check, this week I also have the glucose test for gestational diabetes, and another ultrasound. I can't remember why we are doing the ultrasound but I don't mind getting a little peek at the boy! At 32 weeks, I will have every other week growth ultrasounds.

So that is the latest we are still hanging in and hope it continues to be smooth.

...23, 24, 25 Weeks!!

**Disclaimer: I did add paragraph spacing, however blogger keeps deleting the spaces. Will try to fix from home later tonight** So sorry I missed couple weeks...It was busy time at work and frankly after working three 14 hour days in a row I had no energy to post an update. but wait that only really accounts for one week, right? Ok I am just a slacker! And why the hell am I working 14 hour days while pregnant?? Insane... So, anyway, here we are at 25 weeks {as of yesterday}...per my doctor I am measuring perfectly! My weight...well let's just not talk about that right now and hope that the gaining slows down a tad in the next few weeks. Right now I am on tack to gain 50lbs!!!! Yikes!!! I think I only gained 35-40 with Charles with bedrest and eating to my hearts content... A co-worker says its all in my stomach though..gotta love her despite her 'lies'! I have now received 10 shots of 17-P, was placed on Pro-cardia a few weeks ago, and am still visiting the OB weekly. Next week I get another cervical check and May 4th is my next ultrasound and the dreaded glucose test. Starting June 1 I will be going to the OB twice a week...that should be fun. Dr M is already thinking about placing me on a part-time work schedule at that time as well. As far the baby goes...Blake is doing great. Everyday I feel more and stronger kicks. Last night I was able to watch my entire stomach flop around with his movements. So awesome! His heartrate has been in the 140s at each appt. According to babycenter.com, he should weigh about 1.5lbs, comparable to a rutabaga, and about 13.5 inches long. I sooo can't wait to meet him! And can't have a post without mentioning the Big Boy!! And big he is getting. He is saying more an more words to me everyday and his speech is coming along. This morning he sang "Twinkle twinkle Little Star" to me. It is sooo stinking cute. He did get some playing time out side this past weekend, but it's not looking so good for this weekend. It's going to be cold around here again..boo! His latest thing is he loves my sunglasses..and if he sees my purse, he wants them. Smart boy knows where I keep them! So I got him his own (because, you know, I don't want mine broken!) He wears them All.The.Time. Loves them. He has his quirks but man they are cute little quirks! We are stillllll working on the transition to the big boy bed. W or I still have lay with him to go to sleep each night, and that can take anywhere from 30-60 minutes. He is getting better at going to sleep faster though. W tried one night make him stay in bed alone. Holy melt down!! And now if you leave the dark room with him alone, he will either follow immediately or start to cry. I think there is still some fear to be worked out. Once he is asleep, though, he stays until 5 or so. He went a whole week of not getting up until 6 but I don't know what happened to that.... Too bad he is sooo stinking cute he gets away with soo much! Love that boy!

22 Weeks

I had ultrasound #8 this morning for another cervical length check...happy to report that I am still measuring in the normal range!!

Most of my cervical checks and ultrasounds have been with the MFM group at the hospital and let me tell you they are great!! At the OB's office, if their order is for cervical check, that is all they do. The tech that I have had multiple times at the hospital is really great. After doing my cervical check she put the wand on my belly to check the baby....and she spent 10 minutes trying to get good pictures of his face for us!! Today wasn't our day though...he was folded in half and his toes were literally touching his forehead! It was really cute but not very conducive to a great 3d face shot. The ultrasound was in the morning and I am afraid he is just like his brother was in-utero: sleepy in the morning. There were soo many days that the testing tech had to to buzz Charlie to get him to move around and show activity.

So we are now at 22 weeks. I have gained about 10-13 pounds depending on the day. I really have very little restraint to food while pregnant. If I want it, I have it, without going too far overboard. Baby is 11 inches and nearly a pound. My repeat c-section will most likely be scheduled for 38 or 39 weeks...so that leaves 16 or 17 more weeks to go! {I say these weeks assuming we go to term as I am not letting myself think of any other scenario right now}

W and I picked out a name shortly after our 16wk ultrasound when we found we were having another boy. He is going to be Blake Walter. I already have his name in wooden block letters up on the wall in his room. That will be the only decorating I do as he is getting Charlie's old room and I happen to like the theme!

I am going to try to post every week or at least every other week. Thursdays are the days we start a new week in the pregnancy so I will mostly post then.

2 years and 21 Weeks

Charlie turned two years old two days ago!! The last two years have gone by sooooo very fast. I feel like he is growing up so fast and before my very eyes.

At the end of February, we moved him into a new room and his own big bed. We are still working on the transition though...W or I have to lay with him till he falls asleep (yes, we tend to fall asleep with him, especially me!) and he has been coming to our room around 3 or 4 in the morning. He doesn't get to stay though, I take him right back to his bed where he will sleep til 6:30.

His favorite things to do these days are read and watch Caillou. He brings W or I 'a book' all day, and usually it is the same book over and over. He is saying more and more everyday and repeats just about everything. He also knows his {basic} colors (Dr was very impressed at his two year check up!). He received numerous bikes and outside toys for his birthday and he is very anxious to get out there! Yesterday I opened the back door just to fix our rain bucket and he was SO ANGRY that I would not let him outside as well. Soon, baby, soon...

His respiratory issues seem to be under control. We have not had even so much as a sniffle since November...until this week. I came down with a bad cold last week and then he got it on Tuesday. He has a bad ear infection (first in a year) but so far no wheezing or signs of the cold going into his lungs! So as I much as I hate it, the treatment seems to be working or he is out growing it {I am hoping its the latter!}

This pregnancy is going very well so far!! We found out at 16 weeks that we are having another BOY! He is moving around great and measured well at our anatomy scan. I don't think I have let myself accept that we may go to term yet as our problems with Charles didn't start until 27 weeks...6 more weeks to that point. So far I have had countless appointments, 6 17-P injections, 7 ultrasounds...still to go are atleast 14 more shots, a few more ultrasounds and 16 weeks until we are considered "Full term". I will have a repeat c-section somewhere between 38 and 40 weeks if we make it that far.