Wednesday, February 29, 2012

It Defines me

So I think everyone has something in their life that 'defines' them. Whether it be an activity (i.e. a runner), an event, a catastrophe, something, anything really. And this is the thing that someone will know about with in a short time of meeting you. It's something you have to share.

I have come to the realization of what defines me. That one thing that I have to share about. I kind of realized this a couple months when I reconnected with an old friend and it was one of the first things I told her. And then again this past week when I started group half-marathon training and have been meeting alot of new people.

So what is it you ask!??! It's my pregnancies. Upon meeting me, you will know within an hour/day/first or second meeting that I went into labor at 27 weeks and that my babies were born early. And the sooner the kids get brought the sooner you will know about this. I am fully aware that I am not the first nor that last that has ever been pregnant or had babies. Nor am I the first, last or only person to ever have complications. But the things that happened, happened to ME. And for ME it was fairly traumatic.

I wish I wasn't but I am envious of those that sail through pregnancies without a care or concern, taking the natural occurrence of pregnancy for granted. I was there at one point...before 27 weeks with Charles. After that..well, pregnancy for me is an emotional roller coaster.

But I do think that I have a greater appreciation for my kids and the miracles that they are. That is NOT to say that the momma who has an easy pregnancy doesn't love her kids or appreciate them...I just have a different level of it. For example, I have an associate that works for me right now. She is pregnant, due in late spring. Nothing is a big deal to her. In fact she is already talking about going on vacation for 5 days in September. I know there is no way I could have done that.

Should I still be this profoundly affected by the things that happened to me? I don't know...I know that I am though. In fact, I actually try to hide it. (It doesn't work). I try to find other things about me that are just as interesting. Like that I am a runner and I have run 3 marathons, I am an accounting manager, I like to read, I have an MBA and a CPA, I like to bake when I have time, but I don't like to cook as much, etc. etc. But it always comes back to my pregnancies, birth stories and resulting prematurity of my boys.

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