So last week returning to work brought on a whole new set of emotions...the biggest one being jealousy! I talked at length with my sister and W's cousin's wife about it. Here's what it comes down to: I want to be with my baby and I get very possessive of him when people feel that they are entitled to him. Don't get me wrong, I want to share him, but I hate that they get 'special' time with him or take advantage of me not being around. I also felt like I didn't get as much time with him as I should have at home...You are probably thinking , 'You got 8 weeks'. However...I was cooped up in a hospital for 5 weeks before I had him and when I got out, I couldn't sit at home, so we went places. Usually it was other people's homes. And those people of course want to hold him...but when we get home I put him in his crib so all his holding time was with others.
I recognize that I am being a bit irrational and extreme because I know in my head that I had more than plenty of time with him and will have plenty of time with him in the future. Funny thing is, I am not jealous AT ALL of W...and he has him the most now! I love that he gets that kind of time with his son bc most Dads don't.
So anyway, this week, I am trying to relax. And not get jealous! And realize that they just love him too. And they will NOT replace me.